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Until a Rapper Birthday app exists, you only have us to remind you that Lil Wayne turns 29 today! While he collects his birthday wishes in the form of, we assume, congratulatory texts and minor, million-dollar royalty checks, we ponder what gift you get someone who pocketed $15 million last year.
For his 27th birthday, Wayne received a jewel-encrusted $1 million watch from mentor and boss Birdman alongside a birthday cake. Sorry, a diamond-studded birthday cake. Because apparently when your net worth exceeds $10 million, you're legally forced to add diamonds to every meal. How do you top that? May we recommend a "Happy Bird-Day" card with Birdman's face superimposed inside. It's the thought that counts, Baby.
As part of his probation, Wayne's no longer allowed to ingest the syrup drank he once carried around religiously. So we'll just assume it'll be a quiet night in with methuselahs of champagne, endangered species entrées and a warm fireplace fueled by $1,000 bills. Rappers. They're just like us. Or maybe he'll just make more educational videos like the one below, in which Lil Wayne waxes on the topic of love and fidelity in his own inimitable way.
Either way, Happy Birthday, Weezy. We'll think of you on our birthday when we get socks and slacks. Again.
Happy Birthday, Lil Wayne!
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