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  • Inspiration

    Highly influenced by Lil Weezy and Eazy
    If we're talking inspiration I'd like to thank Jeezy
    Thanks to all the rappers that's dead or retired
    And thank you Mr. Mathers, I'm highly inspired
    Being at the top's the only thing that's desired
    Many will try, but lack the knowledge that's required
    You might say you don't like me and I ain't real
    But I spit from the heart so fuck what ya feel
    They say I'm not from the hood and worry bout my race
    Well rappin is my race and I'm headed for first place
    I'ma get the gold and throw it right in your face
    Put it right between your eyes like some fuckin mace
    I hope they feel what I'm sayin like my words got bass
    So far ahead, I just sit back and light a spliffy
    You boys sleep on the game like fuckin Ken Griffey
    This verse is so belated, from the time it was created
    So I had it updated, upgraded, and restated
    First verse since I graduated, unlike those that are related
    First in my family, what the fuck is a tradition
    Rapping ain't my job, but it'll pay for my tuition

    No real punchlines or heavy metaphors. Wrote this initially to express my feelings for music and state my inspirations/influences, but it shifted into something else. Not to happy with the result, but its a good practice.

    http://www.lilwaynehq.com/forums/tha...-very-hot.html
    http://www.lilwaynehq.com/forums/tha...-ftp-fire.html

  • #2
    Re: Inspiration

    flow- great flow, could be fit in a bunch of songs
    metaphors/punchlines/similes - not many, but rap is not always abt 30 punchlines in 32 bars
    other comments - liked the concept. real shit, youre one of the best writers in the forum/ive read from .. u need getcho ass a mic
    overall - 4.5/5

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    • #3
      Re: Inspiration

      Flow - Was super sick. Flowed nice for me when i was spittin' it out loud.

      Punchlines/Smilies/Metaphors - I saw you through a couple in towards the middle, didnt really have them anywhere else though. But at the beginning and end you had some good wordplay to make up for it.

      Overall Lyrics - I liked them. Had a mix of everything in it (See above.). I liked the "They say I'm not from the hood and worry bout my race
      Well rappin is my race and I'm headed for first place" line, its sick.

      Overall/Rating - It was a good solid verse, on topic throughout. Had good flow and wordplay. 4.5/5



      protect dunston at all costs

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      • #4
        Re: Inspiration

        Flow: The flow was good. It was real easy to read out loud. The only thing that threw me off was how you rhymed 2 bars, then 4, then a 5, which a 5 will throw you off. It was good though.

        Punchlines/Similies/Methaphors- Not to many but with this type of verse it didn't take anything away from it. It was still solid. It had a nice meaning.

        Overall Lyrics: Overall I was feeling the beginning a lot. Towards the end I lost the feel a little but it was still a nice verse.

        Rating: 4/5
        Tha Carter Franchise <3

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        • #5
          Re: Inspiration

          Flow: Really good
          Punchlines/Similes/Metaphors: not many, but don't matter, it's a good verse
          Overall Lyrics: 80%
          Overall/Rating: 4/5

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          • #6
            Re: Inspiration

            Damn Artille This One Is pretty Good Man...Even Though You Lackin Metaphors In this One

            Flow: On Point All The Way
            Punchlines/Similes/Metaphors:Lackin Them Quite Abit On this One Buddy
            Overall Lyrics:I Was Feelin It Alot Epecially Towards The Middle And End
            Other Notes
            Overall/Rating:3.5/5

            Last edited by ItzTheRemixShawty!; 06-13-2010, 05:40 PM.
            RunTellDat!!:Mays '91 The ALBUM 4th Qtr.2012
            Follow Me On Twitter @HiMyNameIsShawn

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            • #7
              Re: Inspiration

              Flow - I like alot.
              Lyrics - i love the real shit, keep it up..
              Overall - 7.8/10

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              • #8
                Re: Inspiration

                flow- sick, unique
                Punchlines/Similes/Metaphors- didn't recog. any, but to me it didn't need any
                lyrics- nice as well
                overall- GET A MIC MAN! XD

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                • #9
                  Re: Inspiration

                  Thank you to everyone who left feedback. So many views, so little replies.

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