Blazin'

[Artille]

Coming hard from the start, going right at your neck
I'm all by myself, no goons on deck
Sacrifice your life for a couple of bids
Gotta grown man flow, ain't got time for you kids
Eatin' my steak while you go and grab a Lunchable
Your bitch barely fuckable, but me I'm untouchable
Throw you off a muthafuckin' cliff, no Huxtable
Shots unduckable, every punchline hit your chest
Leave you shocked and put you in cardiac arrest
But I keep you alive, cause murder is a sin
Prolly thinkin' this the end, but let me fuckin' begin
Never lose, no Khaled, but all I do is win
Damn, did Artille do it again? I'm goin' in
Listen, flow so intelligent like a fuckin' Asian
Always do something new, finna start an invasion
Leave cowards shriveled up like a raisin, I'm blazin'


Just wrote this track while listening to some Biggie. I'm feeling better about this one than my last verse Inspiration. Please leave some good feedback and constructive criticism.

Feedback 1
Feedback 2

[Jamerson]

Re: Blazin'

Flow - Great, just like 3 parts threw me off but pretty good flow
Metaphors/Punchlines/Similes - pretty nice ones
Other - was that a shout out?
overall - 4/5 pretty nice bro.

once again, we need to get you a mic!!

[Artille]

Re: Blazin'

Flow - Great, just like 3 parts threw me off but pretty good flow
Metaphors/Punchlines/Similes - pretty nice ones
Other - was that a shout out?
overall - 4/5 pretty nice bro.

once again, we need to get you a mic!!

Thanks

Yeah I know I need to get a mic ASAP, but I also need to get that new Xbox 360 Slim

Was it a shout out?

[Wisheezy]

Re: Blazin'

Punches were very nice
Flow was very nice, was very readable, nothing that seemed out of place when I read it anyway
Overall it was good short rap and flowed well and the punches and metaphores gave it a great edge
Other notes: Keep it up Artille. My favourite two lines are:

"But I keep you alive, cause murder is a sin"
"Gotta grown man flow, ain't got time for you kids"

4/5

[JMSN]

Re: Blazin'

Very well structured, great punchlines, even a couple good multies.
Great verse Artille, i give it 4.5/5
You always got insane written verses, i hope you get a mic soon and start recording!

(and i believe it was a shoutout too)

[BBeasley]

Re: Blazin'

Flow: Flow was extremely good, kept me intwined the whole time.
Lyrics: Loved the lyrics, I've actually read it about 10 times because I enjoy reading this one.
Other: This to me is one of, if not, your best rap thats why I brought it back up ha.
Overall: 4.9876/5

[Artille]

Re: Blazin'

Flow: Flow was extremely good, kept me intwined the whole time.
Lyrics: Loved the lyrics, I've actually read it about 10 times because I enjoy reading this one.
Other: This to me is one of, if not, your best rap thats why I brought it back up ha.
Overall: 4.9876/5

Thanks for the feedback and support. I'll be sure to do the same for you.

[ProBitaz.]

Re: Blazin'

Nice bro!!

Flow: Pretty good, little off sometimes 3.5/5
Metaphores/Punchlines: Good, really good!
Overall: 4.4/5
Other: Really good, liked it!

[KrispyKreme]

Re: Blazin'

^ Your avatar's the only person retarded enough to post some shit like that.

THe verse still isn't that great, such as cliche lines/rhymes - Asian/invasion, cardiac arrest stuff. It's okay at best, but it's godly compared to this blue tail licking dumbass above me.