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Mountain: "Poet Shit!"

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  • Mountain: "Poet Shit!"

    It sucked so much, that I have 2 remove it! -Don't want people to think I can't write

    FBack:
    http://www.lilwaynehq.com/forums/wri...a-soldier.html
    http://www.lilwaynehq.com/forums/wri...09-blazin.html
    Last edited by ProBitaz.; 07-05-2010, 12:59 PM.

  • #2
    Re: Mountain: "Poet Shit!"

    yeah bro deff not your best... i felt like i was back in english class reading a novel and not getting anything

    Flow - there wasnt one, maybe 2 "bars" did... idk if it was the way u posted or it rhymed good or had flow when u wrote it
    Lyrics - a lil sense at the begining, but the i was just like wth... no real punchlines/similes/metaphors (not necessary bc lyrics can be dope without them)... and no real rhyming.
    Other - make bars, try to make them the same length.. and try making sense even if it's random shit think about it ... "I still go on tours like a fucking tour-guide all right "... no; lol


    im sorry if im being too harsh.. but im at least giving u real feedback, since no one replied to ur thread.. but yeah this wasnt good at all.. you need to come back with something dope

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    • #3
      Re: Mountain: "Poet Shit!"

      I read the first few lines, realized how bad the grammar errors were, saw beat stealer and the such, and can safely say this is not poetry on any level.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Mountain: "Poet Shit!"

        Originally posted by Jamerson View Post
        yeah bro deff not your best... i felt like i was back in english class reading a novel and not getting anything

        Flow - there wasnt one, maybe 2 "bars" did... idk if it was the way u posted or it rhymed good or had flow when u wrote it
        Lyrics - a lil sense at the begining, but the i was just like wth... no real punchlines/similes/metaphors (not necessary bc lyrics can be dope without them)... and no real rhyming.
        Other - make bars, try to make them the same length.. and try making sense even if it's random shit think about it ... "I still go on tours like a fucking tour-guide all right "... no; lol


        im sorry if im being too harsh.. but im at least giving u real feedback, since no one replied to ur thread.. but yeah this wasnt good at all.. you need to come back with something dope
        yeah, yeah, bro got u! Just posted for fun

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Mountain: "Poet Shit!"

          "I’ma write in my spare time and come back with a crazy rime
          I promise I’ll be back before you know it
          Terminator moment"

          "I’m gonna gain the fame claim the game and make it rain"
          these lines are pretty good.

          Comment

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