AllStar-Da-Don - Who Dat

[AllStarDaDon]

Yo whats good yall?

Well I'm a teen from Brooklyn, that's out to create a new face for Hip Hop, mirroring Hip Hop's old form and style of music. I focus more on the lyrics, then anything. My biggest negative is my flow, which have has improved but still needs MAJOR work.

So hear is my first actual recorded track. I'm spittin' off J. Cole's "Who Dat" instrumental. Hit me up with some honest and constructive criticism! A young dude like my self would really appreciate that. Thanks.

Lyrics:
(Hook)
Who Dat who dat bitch I spit that flame
Who dat who dat bitch I spit that flame
Who dat who dat bitch I spit that flame
So don't worry bout my mothafuckin' name

(Verse 1
It was all good just a week ago
I spit that type of flame, that could head the snow
I'm running game on all these stupid hoes
I'm just lookin' for brain I aint tryna get any deeper tho
What I been through, no one fuckin' knows
Fuck venting my problems yall don't need to know
I'm hot (yo) so I'm out proving it, doing my part (huh!) so I'm out doin' it
Like I'm having raw sex outside I'm out doin' it
No glove, partying with my people that dont showed up
Fuck it man it's all love, fuckin homo-thugs
That's why ya boy is rising above
I'm spittin' real shit, I'm on some real shit
My fuckin groove (uh) you gotta feel it
I'm spittin illness I'm on the ill list. Fuck it imma just let the mothafuckin' beat hit

(Hook)
(Verse 2)
I'm here homie for verse 2
Yall rappers is not sick, yall need labels to nurse you
Like Que (uh) homie I took the juice
Yall Acute Angles, me I'm something like Obtuse
I'm fucked up in the head, I gotta few screws that's loose
Yall lames is bench players, I'm the one that shoots
Fly up in the air like a parachute
Yall more like parasites, yall rhymes is dry as rice
Like a elderly man (uh) ya boy is fuckin' nice
Lines is ill like a nigga having a thing for dikes
No one hit wonder, I hit yall with one then I make yall wonder
When my next single is gonna be commin'
Dont worry like my bitches they gonna be cummin'
How is he so young and so ill?
No butt pads or silicones he keeps it soooo real

(hook)

Feedback:
http://www.lilwaynehq.com/forums/tha...ook-remix.html
http://www.lilwaynehq.com/forums/tha...-mc_crary.html

[Whal3z]

Re: AllStar-Da-Don - Who Dat

Flow: Pretty Good.. At some points it sounded kinda weird 3/5
Lyrics: They're ok.. you should improve though your flow does help 2.5/5
Other Notes: Mad Potential Bro.. Like the hook!
Overall/Rating: 3/5

[AllStarDaDon]

Re: AllStar-Da-Don - Who Dat

Good lookin man. Feedback is most def appreciated.

I'm shocked cause usually it's the reverse of what you said. Usually it's flow that's ok, and lyrics that's pretty good haha,

[ATLien666]

Re: AllStar-Da-Don - Who Dat

You're like me, good lyrics, but flow is off.

Flow- Was really off at parts, but it was okay at others. 2/5
Lyrics- Were nice. 3/5
Other Notes- I can definitely tell that your songs are only gonna get better.
Overall- 3/5

[AllStarDaDon]

Re: AllStar-Da-Don - Who Dat

Good looks on the feedback man.

Oh yeah it's definitely gonna get better. I was upset as hell when I heard the finished product of this. I mean it's good, but after hearing the full finished version I seen what improvements I could of had made.

My lyrics are usually deeper, reason I really made this it's cause it's my first recorded track. So I wanted to keep my teen audience interested, and not loose them with the underground type of Hip Hop, which alot of them push away from. So I tried to mix both worlds, but not be cliche feel me?

[ATLien666]

Re: AllStar-Da-Don - Who Dat

Yeah, cause that's how it is at my school, I can get on my Blu type shit, but they won't even focus on it. So, you gotta find a middle ground when it comes to teens, these days.

[kadillak]

Re: AllStar-Da-Don - Who Dat

You already know my feelings haha. Great to see you here bro.

[MC_Crary]

Re: AllStar-Da-Don - Who Dat

FLow: Your flow was pretty good to me man, off at some points but when you were on it was great.
Lyrics: The lyrics started off good, but fell of towards the end. Nice rhyme scheme too.

3.5/5

Check out my new song Flava in Ya Ear.

[AllStarDaDon]

Re: AllStar-Da-Don - Who Dat

@Kaddy haha you already know man.
@MC_Crary Glad you liked it man. I'm definitely gonna check ya trackout.

[Pestrator]

Re: AllStar-Da-Don - Who Dat

ur flow was off most the tme liek it seemed rushed but the lyrics were good bro keep practcin n with time ur flow will improve bro n can u check out my version of who dat its the song on this website called got that flame ReverbNation i go in first n i do the hoook