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When i got frustrated [READ]

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  • When i got frustrated [READ]

    Only the first verse

    i've never seen the far side of life
    i wanted to say the bright
    but only on the left side
    cuz on the right everything gone dark
    or dimmer, the cold air make's me whim and shimmer
    my mind goes blank and i catch jitters everytime
    i think of her. she ? or maybe even them
    because them the one's that hurt me
    so i did my best to get rid of them
    i never wanted to meet em if they ever wanted to hurt
    me so if i had a chance id turn back time and they'd still try and desert me
    i've always had tried to come up with million dollar scheme's
    to get me out the hood and any car that i please
    i wish my mom would've done a better job of being there for me
    and i always hated my father for always trippin on me
    but one day i'll see the day that the light would really shine on
    Me, Dawn on me, Blind on me, and let me know that i still have my mind on me
    and see how my paths twist and turn's and see my destiny intwines on me.

  • #2
    Re: When i got frustrated [READ]

    I think it's real good, and alright.

    what do you think?

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    • #3
      Re: When i got frustrated [READ]

      thats pretty raw nigguh

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      • #4
        Re: When i got frustrated [READ]

        thankk's man i wish more people would read it.

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        • #5
          Re: When i got frustrated [READ]

          i might post a new set in a few minute's ..

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: When i got frustrated [READ]

            You've either screwed up in the separation of your lines, or your rap has a really bizarre rhyme scheme. Lyrically, it's above average as far as the crap on this forum goes. Tell me though, what does "whim" mean as a verb?

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            • #7
              Re: When i got frustrated [READ]

              hmm, Whim is a desire i couldnt look into my Brain and ask for a better word. but it'd all make sense if i could find another word.

              But! Im working on my line's i dont like to use /'s or the 3 Periods "..." because like when i freestyle with my homies i just like to read off the bat.

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              • #8
                Re: When i got frustrated [READ]

                Stay up

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                • #9
                  Re: When i got frustrated [READ]

                  Thanks Bruh

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