Young Corruption: Chillen with no make up on

[Young Corruption]

same song two different version. i was messing with a different effect and it sounds way different. don't know which one i like better could use ya'lls help on deciding which show make the mixtape
No offkey effect
Off key effect on

(verse 1)
you ain't got no make up on
it ain't nothing to frown upon
that is how i like my girls
hair don't need to be up in curls

you are looking like a model
lets go pop some more top bottles
seeing when you first wake up
there will be no build up

i'm liking the way you look
you reading me like a playbook
the way you rocking your body
you thinking that your some kind of hotty

i ain't looking for a blonde
i got my eyes on a broad
guys don't know how to wine and dine
because you always looking divine

(verse 2)
headed straight to the pub
better yet i like a club
guys aren't taking any notice
they always looking at my lotus

it is a perfect distraction
come in young corruption's faction
i ain't even gonna lie
all the other guys shouldn't try

when i get you in my sights
i turn into a shinning knight
knowing you got no make up on
i spray my gossip be gone

buying you shot after shot
looks like i hit the sweet spot
you looking a little tipsy
dancing like your a gipsy

(verse 3)
taking you to my home
we be riding on my chrome
gonna show you a real good time
i'm not about the pick up lines

i'ma try to get you in bed
maybe get a little head
if you think that i'm serious
then you must be a little curious

these are line that i write
but don't think i won't fight
i brought you back to my house
i hope you become my spouse

the hook says it all
i'm here to reinforce the call
so sit back and take a listen
better yet get yourself an asian

Forum Police

[ATLien666]

Re: Young Corruption: Chillen with no make up on

I like the sample, and the beat, it's just a lil' too long.

Flow- The third part of the first verse, " i'm liking the way you look
you reading me like a playbook
the way you rocking your body
you thinking that your some kind of hotty" is when the flow slipped a lil', and sounded kinda awkward. In the second verse, it sounds a lil' rushed, but not off-beat, it just sounded like you were either trying to make the lyrics fit or you were runnin' out of space. The third verse was all on point, though.

Lyrics- I like the song, no standout punchlines or metaphors, but overall it was a nice song. I loooooved this part, though:

"i'ma try to get you in bed
maybe get a little head
if you think that i'm serious
then you must be a little curious"

[Young Corruption]

Re: Young Corruption: Chillen with no make up on

thanks for the feedback. and it was gonna be 2 verse's only but the song would of been a little over 2 minutes and i've been trying to work on making longer songs. so this was kinda like a story. verse 1 is where i say what type of girl i want, verse 2 i go to a club and find that girl and verse 3 is where i bring her home. yeah i noticed i fell off on the 1st verse and i see where it was rushed on the 2nd. it was my first time on a faster beat. but i'm glad you liked that one part in 3rd verse

[YUNG DIEZEL]

Re: Young Corruption: Chillen with no make up on

u improving overall,

every song doesnt need a bunch of metaphors and wordplay so i'd just say keep practicing maintaining flow.

dope beat, its by superstar o , but somebody added drake on the hook, nice

just keep at it bro, good job.

[Young Corruption]

Re: Young Corruption: Chillen with no make up on

u improving overall,

every song doesnt need a bunch of metaphors and wordplay so i'd just say keep practicing maintaining flow.

dope beat, its by superstar o , but somebody added drake on the hook, nice

just keep at it bro, good job.

thanks man will do

[THA GR8 M8]

Re: Young Corruption: Chillen with no make up on

This rhyme scheme really bothers me for some reason...

[Young Corruption]

Re: Young Corruption: Chillen with no make up on

This rhyme scheme really bothers me for some reason...

haha its an odd one. it throw me for a loop first time i heard it. but thats not good to hear lol

[DreezyBaby]

Re: Young Corruption: Chillen with no make up on

Lol, i actually like this joint. It's kinda catchy

Flow: B (could improve)
Lyrics: C+ (the lyrics were just right for the song)
Overall: C+ cool track man.

[Cody]

Re: Young Corruption: Chillen with no make up on

You improved your flow a little bit, which is a good thing.

Your lyrics were Ok.

[Young Corruption]

Re: Young Corruption: Chillen with no make up on

Lol, i actually like this joint. It's kinda catchy

Flow: B (could improve)
Lyrics: C+ (the lyrics were just right for the song)
Overall: C+ cool track man.

You improved your flow a little bit, which is a good thing.

Your lyrics were Ok.

thank both of ya'll for the feedback