Whats my name

[FuckTheFeds]

o yes, say my name,
i can teach u a couple things,
but when ur back hurt, whos to blame, whos to blame,
o ya, i really wanna be with you,
if not now, lets set the mood, set the mood,
cry them tears away, boo who,
o let me know, how come he never showed,
thats kinda low, but u love em though,
so baby lets take it slow,
i aint like him, ill let u know,ill let u know
when its cold, i heat it up like a coat,
take a poll, count the votes,
u aint just some hoe, so please dont...go
i miss you now, and want u later,
check the paper, read the date,
i love you,now whats my name,
whats my name,o girl say name,
i beat u any harder, u deserve a raise.

[UnknownP]

Re: Whats my name

i like how you stay on topic throughout the verse!
i also liked how you didn't use a lot of metaphors, i don't know about you, but for me it's kind of hard not to use metaphors! so good work right there.
some rhymes just makes me jealous, wishing i came up with that shit, for ex "if not now, lets set the mood, set the mood,
cry them tears away, boo who"...fire.
i'll give it a 3.5/5, definitely

[FuckTheFeds]

Re: Whats my name

thanks.. finally i got some feed back on it, i thought it was alright..