Young Corruption: Road to Redemption

[Young Corruption]

finally coming back with a new song after the horrible cypher thing. I tried something different with my voice to get more of a chill sound. No voice changing effects involved its all me.
CLICK TO LISTEN

Lyrics:
i'm living proof of roads to redemption
i've gone through the bullshit and inventions
i'm lying, i'm trying, i'm dying in my heart
i can't take it anymore i'm torn apart
they say you can do whatever you put your mind to
i took that advice and now my spine grew
looking in the past, i know what i did wrong
i use to do bad i was forbid to the headstrong
so what the fuck do you the haters wanna say
i got you in a choke hold, your my slave
outta of the dark, i see the light
the world is sunny, my lifes turning bright
i'm done with this shit, i hate what i've become
i don't need this anymore, i don't wanna succumb
this isn't the end, i still have shit on my mind
i'll continue to do this, don't care if i get signed

(verse 2)

started with petty crimes till we grew older
its only a matter of time till we grew colder
you never know what you have till its gone
your eyes will open in the crack of dawn
living life day by day
i was just hoping the light would stay
i don't wanna stray, not this time
no more crack, no more lines
it feels good to be sober once more
i can have a happy ending on the shore
i'm done with the drugs, no more storm
if you have it in you, you can transform
you can have your life back in your arms
you don't need to worry, take away the sidearms
listen very closely to this song
and tell me if i got it all wrong

Feedback:
Fuck
You

[MC_Crary]

Re: Young Corruption: Road to Redemption

Great beat with this one. Who produced this? I felt like your bars need to be filled out more. Like you didn't use enough words so you had to stretch out the ones you had to do each bar. If you had've used those gaps you wouldve had much more space to kill this track. That;s basically my take on the flow, as far as the lyrics they were good. Told a story. Glad to hear you're off that stuff man, it destroys your mind.

[Tha Professor]

Re: Young Corruption: Road to Redemption

Great beat with this one. Who produced this? I felt like your bars need to be filled out more. Like you didn't use enough words so you had to stretch out the ones you had to do each bar. If you had've used those gaps you wouldve had much more space to kill this track. That;s basically my take on the flow, as far as the lyrics they were good. Told a story. Glad to hear you're off that stuff man, it destroys your mind.

I agree with this about tha flow.
Another suggestion is to increase your delivery. Yes you were telling a story, but tha lack of enthusiasm makes it boring.
2.4/5

[THA GR8 M8]

Re: Young Corruption: Road to Redemption

Flow - Like the other two said, you just gotta find your balance. Make it where your lines are filled a bit more. So you can have a more consistent flow. Rather than having to slow down on some parts, then speed up on others. I see improvement though.
Lyrics - They were decent. Nice story. I just prefer more lyricism in raps I listen to.
Overall - 3/5.

[Young Corruption]

Re: Young Corruption: Road to Redemption

i see what you ya'll mean and i'll try to work on it. i should have a song that won't be on the mixtape that i can record to put up here.

EDIT: Sinima beats is who produced it

[WeezYIsCraaazY]

Re: Young Corruption: Road to Redemption

Can't Click The Link Probably Because I Am On My iPod Or Something So When I Get Home I'll Check This Out Again

[Young Corruption]

Re: Young Corruption: Road to Redemption

Can't Click The Link Probably Because I Am On My iPod Or Something So When I Get Home I'll Check This Out Again

haha yeah thats probably why. but cool, looking forward to your feedback