First Freestyle Ever

[Chainz]

Yo nigga this shit gonna go hard
Imma warn you right now, dont step in my yard
Imma leave your body broken & scarred
Next imma go to ya bitch, first have her shake
then eat her up like steak
and just like her titttes your fake
your shit is worse than a simpsons rerun
my shit is a fucking home run
I've been arrested
dont like to get tested
spread your legs like a bitch
shoot you, toss you in a ditch
steal ya money and be like nigga im rich
nigga im sitting on my throne
your bitch come over and I make her moan.

___
Watcha yall think. And don't be to harsh, I'm only 14 and this is my first freestyle ever..

[Chainz]

Re: First Freestyle Ever

Anything? I know its bad but any tips on how I can improve..anything?

[JrockHQ]

Re: First Freestyle Ever

Lol it's not that bad, way gooder then my first freestyle i ever did

Good punchlines and wordplay

Just need to work on rhyming and not forcing words to rhyme

[IAmJay]

Re: First Freestyle Ever

It was pretty decent, not bad.

Just like Jrock said, it was better than my first too lol.

[YoungFire420]

Re: First Freestyle Ever

Good job man!

[trillphill]

Re: First Freestyle Ever

Yo nigga this shit gonna go hard
Imma warn you right now, dont step in my yard
Imma leave your body broken & scarred
Next imma go to ya bitch, first have her shake
then eat her up like steak
and just like her titttes your fake
your shit is worse than a simpsons rerun
my shit is a fucking home run
I've been arrested
dont like to get tested
spread your legs like a bitch
shoot you, toss you in a ditch
steal ya money and be like nigga im rich
nigga im sitting on my throne
your bitch come over and I make her moan.

___
Watcha yall think. And don't be to harsh, I'm only 14 and this is my first freestyle ever..

Some lines sound awkwardly written...like for example: " nigga im sitting on my throne, your bitch come over and I make her moan." It just sounds like someone with a disorder writing it, make sure to write them so it doesn't sound weird like that, and stick to rhyming in pairs.

[YoungMoneyEnt]

Re: First Freestyle Ever

Lol it's not that bad, way gooder then my first freestyle i ever did

Good punchlines and wordplay

Just need to work on rhyming and not forcing words to rhyme

Gooder is not a word

[YungMulaTheImage]

Re: First Freestyle Ever

Lol it's not that bad, way gooder then my first freestyle i ever did

Good punchlines and wordplay

Just need to work on rhyming and not forcing words to rhyme

Gooder is not a word

yo YME checkout kiddale's freestyle (YMD) topic

[JrockHQ]

Re: First Freestyle Ever

Lol it's not that bad, way gooder then my first freestyle i ever did

Good punchlines and wordplay

Just need to work on rhyming and not forcing words to rhyme

Gooder is not a word

Haha yeah i kno that, it sounds good though