Young Corruption: Tears of a Dream

[Young Corruption]

Alright well i'm back with a new song after getting caught up in school. Its my first time doing my own hook.

Stream


i wake up in the morning and put my shoes on
getting ready for the day and then i'm gone
i walk out the door to see what the day brings
i'm not gonna get baked that was just a filling
driving myself to school to get an education
gonna learn why we are called the greatest nation
now we're driving to the radio station
music is my life there is no vacation
getting recognition would be a dream
thats never gonna happen eating ben's ice cream
you have to work hard no matter what they say
they will break you down and call you gay
and thats no diss don't take it the wrong way
people love pointing fingers playing the blame game
but you gotta stay strong and keep your head up
just imagine yourself staring at the sunup
see the beauty the world and don't live it down
run to the finish line and make a touchdown
my heart goes out to all the big dreamers
you gotta go big and hope for the beamers
i never gave up and look where it landed me
god gave me an idea, i took what he handed me
gave it a shape and thats what i'm living
cause me and my life thats what i'm killing
i don't go to streets and try to pick a fight
what i've gone through you know i've seen the light
if i'm walking down the street come up and say hi
you don't have to worry about if i'm gonna bite

(hook)
tears of dream don't have to smoke weed
life has more to offer if you believe
not telling you how to live you life
i don't wanna have to end up with a goodbye

(verse 2)
if you knew me back then i was depressed
now i'm like a little kid playing in recess
i ain't gonna stop this i worked to hard
cause i'm a believer and nothings to far
I worked my ass off now i'm in the industry
bullets flying past me but thats not killing me
i faced death and chased him away
i'ma tell this to my kids while i give them a cake
i walk down the street people yelling my name
Young Corruption is here to change the game
he will never fail us cause i have faith
like sunday morning when they pass the plate
i rose for the dead to get rid of the evil
now the devil is becoming very hostile
i slapped him around to get him in handle
i showed him who is boss in the flick of a candle
now i'm sitting here wondering whats gonna be next
i really like a girl but its complex
cause i don't wanna mess up a friendship
but its eating at me and its a bitch
hanging out with her makes me feel alive
she is beautiful in ways that makes things alright
putting smiles on my face whenever i see her
and me back in place like i'm popping leaf reefer
being with her is like my anti-drug
i would do it again even if i get mugged
this is my life i'm as real as i can get
getting my shit straight so its not a wreck

Tossing
her
Salad

[MC_Crary]

Re: Young Corruption: Tears of a Dream

The concept of this song seemed like it could've became a great song. The flow and energy of this is totally off. You're still not filling out your bars. Not enough words in the bars makes yoiu have to stretch other words to make the flow sound better, but it actualy makes it sound off. The lyrics were kinda iffy too, I mean I guess they fit the concept, it just seemed like you could"ve conveyed your point in a more lyrical sense. I hated the beat also, the contrasting piano samples were kinda distracting. I tried to find one thing I liked about this song, so it wouldn't seem like I was just hating on you, but I couldn't man. I'm sorry.

[Young Corruption]

Re: Young Corruption: Tears of a Dream

its cool man. i've had it beat on my computer for months and needed to record. I take everything into consideration and not the like "omg he hates it now i'm going to flame him". its you opinion and i'll try to change a few things in the future. thanks for the time and listening though

[broc717]

Re: Young Corruption: Tears of a Dream

if you threw more emotion in your vocals almost as if someone is right in front of you tellin you your wrong, this song would be perfect, the lyrics and everything are there, im just not convinced that you mean what your saying, its like your rappin just to rap, other than that tho like I said, i like the lyrics and great beat choice, thanks for postin, keep on ya grind my dude!

[Young Corruption]

Re: Young Corruption: Tears of a Dream

yeah i've always have that problem with emotion. i'm still working on that and thanks for the feedback, its appreciated so that i can get better. glad you liked the beat and lyrics. As you can tell i'm more of a storyteller than a banger type of person

[YUNG DIEZEL]

Re: Young Corruption: Tears of a Dream

I was feelin the beat, and your lyrics/flow went well with it as well as the topic.

i fux wit this, u doin u, and its an improvement from your other work.

sounded kinda low on my speakers, imma see how it sound on my headphones though.

only thing is u coulda switched the flow up, but overall, this is decent.

flow 4/5

lyrics 4/5

overall 4/5 keep this up,
good shit bro.

[Young Corruption]

Re: Young Corruption: Tears of a Dream

thank you for checking it out and i'll start turning up my master volume from now on before i mixdown. and switching my flow will be something i try out so that its not all the same through out the whole song. thank you for the feedback

EDIT: also thank you for seeing improvement

[Jamerson]

Re: Young Corruption: Tears of a Dream

i agree with everyone on the flow.
but i thought your lyrics were not bad... and i can deff see your improvement. keep it up YC

[ATLien666]

Re: Young Corruption: Tears of a Dream

In all honesty, the flow was the worst thing on this song, imo. Well, the beat too, but that's because it's repetitive as fuck.

Flow- 3/5 It's not that's it bad-bad, it's because you're lacking emotion so it sounds really robotic.

Lyrics- 3/5 Fitted in the concept, but like MC said, you could've conveyed it in a more lyrical tone/sense, but the 2nd verse > 1st.

Overall - 4/5 I can really see improvement in you, keep it up!

[mykill]

Re: Young Corruption: Tears of a Dream

Flow: C+
Lyrics: B+

Overall: 3.5/5, I listened to this the other day, and it sounds like you're improving flow wise. Keep working on that and you'll be at a state where its nice and perfected, and everything sounds kosher. Lyrics look good, just a few rough spots where it seems like you forced some rhymes. Keep it up though, we're all learning and we're all just amateurs at this, so remember no one around here expects you be perfect in a week. Good to see you posting back in The Studio.

[JrockHQ]

Re: Young Corruption: Tears of a Dream

If you let the words flow more naturally it would sound and flow much better. It's sounding almost as if your reading line for line off the paper where you wrote down the lyrics. Try experimenting with memorizing the lyrics and then recording, that sound make the words flow better. Other then that your lyrics & concept are good. add more personality & flow in your music and you're be dope. Overall i'll give it a 2.5/5

[THA GR8 M8]

Re: Young Corruption: Tears of a Dream

Big improvement. But I agree with everyone else. You need to be more natural on the mic, work on your flow, and work on lyrics.