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Grade on lyrics please 1-10

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  • #1

    Grade on lyrics please 1-10

    YouTube Allstars Best Rapper Hip Hop Contest Verse

    Mr. HAM on the beat, haters asked for it though,
    If you ever want beef then ask it to go,
    I run this bitch, got no time for liposuction,
    Life ain't an alcoholic but I give it a shot

    Do it so hard call me a horny teen nerd,
    Y'all brain's dull while my brain is way keener,
    I stay on my grind all the time - Shaun Roger White,
    Hey who got the time to be lying only haters now

    Buying all I can cuz I can't buy time,
    When I diss I don't need their info or timeline,
    Do her from behind call that a bounce pass,
    Only star you can see cuz the rest I outshine

    Say you the shit, and I'll down ya impostor,
    Haters green with envy like year-old lasagna,
    Fuck a life story you ain't catching me you comma's,
    Run when you see me don't stand still like doll-o-rama's
    Last edited by Glen F Baby; 04-01-2011, 02:21 AM.
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Re: Grade on lyrics please 1-10

    1,9/5

    No offense, but didn't feel the flow or the rimes/punchlines.

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: Grade on lyrics please 1-10

      No no it's cool, I wasn't feeling the flow either. But I thought I had some decent lines. Thanks thought appreciate the constructive criticism.

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: Grade on lyrics please 1-10

        Originally posted by Glen F Baby View Post
        No no it's cool, I wasn't feeling the flow either. But I thought I had some decent lines. Thanks thought appreciate the constructive criticism.
        Don't get me wrong, ya had some, it was just not good enough to hold the whole song, ya digg?

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: Grade on lyrics please 1-10

          3/10 u could of did better, but some lines were str8.
          Talk Stupid Get Ya Head Popped
          I got that Esther bitch I'm red fox
          Big B's Red Sox I get money to kill time dead clocks
          You fuckin with a nigga who don't give a fuck
          Empty the clip then roll the window up
          Pussy Niggas sweet You niggas cinnabuns
          I'm in a red bitch she say she finna cum
          Two hundred thou on a chain I don't need a piece
          That Banana Clip let Chiquita Speak
          Dark shades EazyE
          Five letter YMCMB
          Bitch Ass Nigga Pussy Ass Nigga
          I see you lookin with your lookin ass nigga


          Comment

          • #6
            Re: Grade on lyrics please 1-10

            2/10, sorry man. Missing some flow, and togetherness. Seems like your trying to tackle too many metaphors using real broad subjects.

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: Grade on lyrics please 1-10

              Hey how are my lyrics now? I think they flow a lot better now.

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: Grade on lyrics please 1-10

                3.5/10

                there's no great flow, but you had a line or two that, according to me, was pretty good. for example that paranormal activity, abnormal activity shit.

                keep on workin, not every verse is a good one, trust me, i know, i've got like 400 completed verses and maybe 250 unfinished ones.
                of these 650 verses, maybe 2-3 are good ones. so it's all about the work.

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: Grade on lyrics please 1-10

                  hey man no offense but 2.5 i see you got ideas but you could make it go together better. good shit though keep writing

                  Comment

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