My First Raps

[koolkiddale13]

Re: My First Raps

Hello Artille. I see that you have met the dick-sucking welcoming party. Your first verse was much better than your second. I would say that you're still struggling to find a flow, as your rhymes contain many good punchlines, but lack any rhythmic pattern. For example, often in rap you have a standard length to your lines. Because of this, producing a short line often means that you follow it up with a longer one.

Additionally, and most importantly, keep in mind that the style of rap which you are doing does not lend itself well to white people. It's also played-out. The true spirit of hip-hop lives in the unexplored rhymes and themes.

patriarch i bet you dont even listen 2 hip hop u 40 year old still livin with his mom. maybe u could go be a snob at a library where ppl will b relieved 2 tell u 2 not talk. muthafucker

Co-Signnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!
Ahaha Image youh funny as hell!

Fuck youh Patriarch, stop hatin.

[Patriarch]

Re: My First Raps

Talk all you want - I gave this guy what he was looking for.

[WeEeEeEzZzZyYy]

Re: My First Raps

The guy did ask for some advice and Patriach did that

[trillphill]

Re: My First Raps

Hello Artille. I see that you have met the dick-sucking welcoming party. Your first verse was much better than your second. I would say that you're still struggling to find a flow, as your rhymes contain many good punchlines, but lack any rhythmic pattern. For example, often in rap you have a standard length to your lines. Because of this, producing a short line often means that you follow it up with a longer one.

Additionally, and most importantly, keep in mind that the style of rap which you are doing does not lend itself well to white people. It's also played-out. The true spirit of hip-hop lives in the unexplored rhymes and themes.

patriarch i bet you dont even listen 2 hip hop u 40 year old still livin with his mom. maybe u could go be a snob at a library where ppl will b relieved 2 tell u 2 not talk. muthafucker

Co-Signnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!
Ahaha Image youh funny as hell!

Fuck youh Patriarch, stop hatin.

As Weeeeezy said he was giving advice which none of you guys have clearly given.

Jrock, remember when you asked to tell you where anyone ever said "Ya DIGG". well even though I realized halfway through typing this he was kicked out kidale even admits he has no advice apparent to give and only says "omg youh sick bruh, straight fire!!!! " in every freestyle thread, and not everyone's "freestyles" are "Sick bruh" and "straight fire".

Why not quote it

Omgggg!!
Damn brahh.
Youh seaid youh pussies ckant see me like youh reading Braille!

Hahah, sick flow bro.
My niggas will see this later..
They ain't online right now.

Damn that was straight fireee!

Jesus christ you type worse than girls, either that or you're very spastic when you type.

[JrockHQ]

Re: My First Raps

Hello Artille. I see that you have met the dick-sucking welcoming party. Your first verse was much better than your second. I would say that you're still struggling to find a flow, as your rhymes contain many good punchlines, but lack any rhythmic pattern. For example, often in rap you have a standard length to your lines. Because of this, producing a short line often means that you follow it up with a longer one.

Additionally, and most importantly, keep in mind that the style of rap which you are doing does not lend itself well to white people. It's also played-out. The true spirit of hip-hop lives in the unexplored rhymes and themes.

patriarch i bet you dont even listen 2 hip hop u 40 year old still livin with his mom. maybe u could go be a snob at a library where ppl will b relieved 2 tell u 2 not talk. muthafucker

Co-Signnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!
Ahaha Image youh funny as hell!

Fuck youh Patriarch, stop hatin.

As Weeeeezy said he was giving advice which none of you guys have clearly given.

Jrock, remember when you asked to tell you where anyone ever said "Ya DIGG". well even though I realized halfway through typing this he was kicked out kidale even admits he has no advice apparent to give and only says "omg youh sick bruh, straight fire!!!! " in every freestyle thread, and not everyone's "freestyles" are "Sick bruh" and "straight fire".

Why not quote it

Omgggg!!
Damn brahh.
Youh seaid youh pussies ckant see me like youh reading Braille!

Hahah, sick flow bro.
My niggas will see this later..
They ain't online right now.

Damn that was straight fireee!

Jesus christ you type worse than girls, either that or you're very spastic when you type.

i knew you where going to respond to that statement that's why i used the keyword ACTIVE members

[Patriarch]

Re: My First Raps

These are exerpts from some of the posts in the first 10 pages of the YMD topic:

Ya'll both have some sick lines and overall verses was hot

YMD is the group to be in
we fly as hell nigga

DAMN bro^ sick wit it

Ya, I'm feeling you nigga.
forsure

You got skill though nigga.. so I wouldn't trip

That was strait FIRE bro.
forreal.. I got a very interesting talk to do with YMC when he gets on..

hit me up YME or jrock
btw jrock
your verse was fucking fire.

Ayo thx
You and YME verses are sick also

IM GONE!
Young Money Dynasty man wait til we record this
haha sick wit it all day, flame verses 24-7
YMC get em boy

YMD killing it

These don't even include the numerous comments from non-YMD members, like kiddale riding all four of your dicks in every single fucking post. The only possible defense you can have here is what you hinted at earlier - you give your criticism via PM; however, that only proves that you're too much of a pussy to post what you honestly think publically.

[trillphill]

Re: My First Raps

i knew you where going to respond to that statement that's why i used the keyword ACTIVE members

So is that the reason he was kicked from the group? If not than it equally applies seeing as he's "affiliated" with you guys and was once and-could-be back in your group.

Kidale has a pretty serious version of bs, but some of your guys' aren't much better when it comes to it either, though YMD's is tolerable, I look at kidale's FIRE posts and I smh.

[Artille]

Re: My First Raps

Hello Artille. I see that you have met the dick-sucking welcoming party. Your first verse was much better than your second. I would say that you're still struggling to find a flow, as your rhymes contain many good punchlines, but lack any rhythmic pattern. For example, often in rap you have a standard length to your lines. Because of this, producing a short line often means that you follow it up with a longer one.

Additionally, and most importantly, keep in mind that the style of rap which you are doing does not lend itself well to white people. It's also played-out. The true spirit of hip-hop lives in the unexplored rhymes and themes.

Thanks for the advice, but what does being white have to do with anything?

[trillphill]

Re: My First Raps

Aside from battling, I think he's trying to say unless you're what you rap about than it doesn't help the fact you're rapping about it; it's not really you.

I'm pretty sure that's what he's trying to say, but if you "practice what you preach" than it suites better.

Being white doesn't have to do with anything though unless you're writing a song like "Nigger - the slave and the master".

[Patriarch]

Re: My First Raps

For the most part being white has shit to do with rapping. When it comes right down to it, though - and don't take this the wrong way - no matter what your background is, white guys will always look corny spitting about their thug livez. It's just an inherent part of our culture.

[Artille]

Re: My First Raps

But im not spittin about my thug life. i just focus on metaphors and punch lines. not chillin with my goons and blowin up ur house lol. As far as I'm concerned, i am better than white rappers like eminem and Paul wall. and even black artists such as Tyga and 50 cent.

[Patriarch]

Re: My First Raps

You rapped about money and girls. If you had mentioned cars you would have completed the triad. Everyone here seems so focused on rap written around punchlines that they've lost sight of any kind of thematic flow (with the exception of the everpresent "look at how fuckin great I am, bitch" theme).

There's not really a lot beyond this that I can tell you. If you want to understand what I'm talking about, lock yourself in a room with only music by Nas and Lil Wayne and don't come out until you understand the difference between them.