Please rate 1-10 uke - leaving you

[Dukez]

UPDATE: I've added verse 2. Should be recording this shit next week.

Here is my lyrics on Fab's leaving you beat from his SOUL MIXTAPE

Leaving you.

VERSE 1
--I guess makin sure that u good was my bad
--time invested is something i can't buy back
--No trust when she lie I just lie backkk
And the tension keep on buildin like a Hi-hat

Look
the bullshit don't phase me
--I truly only love the lady that made me
--Cared for me
she was always there for me
All the other bitches get is Cab fare money from me
Haha

--She played games from the start uh then she met my best friend--her name karma
Addicted to drama but I never pay attention
--Not again bitch
This time I learned my lesson

Haha
--Just a chick I had to leave behind silly me
she had a knife I let her see my spine
--hit the reefer nine times to relieve my minddd
Look deeper if you can't read between the lines

VERSE 2
Yeah
And you know I kick it old school
Flow so smooth I eat this sample like soul food
---We had a falling out
---Like an old tooth
Now when I light up a blunt, I always roll two.

--We were bad it felt good it ain't supposed to
What we had has passed don't expect me to roll through
Too busy making memories I'm cheerin toasts to
--then I hit the booth and confess to the pro tools

---All this shit on this mind of mine
So I gotta share it with you from time to time
I'm sayin...
Goodbye
--Ima make a few reductions
--Smoke good and spill the truth over smooth precussions

[UnknownP]

Re: Please rate 1-10 fuckaaas duke - leaving you

damn, i'm stunned homie

i'm feeling this one. reminds me of this chick i used to date a couple of years ago...

there's actually only one line that i'm not feeling, but i still understands why it's there:
"all the other bitches get is cab fare money from me",

it's not bad, it just feels like you could have come up with something better.

really like how you finishes it, REALLY reminds me of that bitch from a few years back

8.5!

edit: i put the beat on, and tried to see how you were flowing out. made it better.
9/10!

[Dukez]

Re: Please rate 1-10 fuckaaas duke - leaving you

AHAHA CANNOT believe you didn't like that cab fare money from me line, on of my favs, plus I sing/rap it with a melody so its EXTRA FRESH.

[Lord of Kaos]

Re: Please rate 1-10 fuckaaas duke - leaving you

Duuuddddeeeee! Played the Fab beat in the background and it really played up to it. and the line about the cab fare, I liked it. give the main girl everything and the other girls aint getting nun but d*ck and cab fare to find a ride home. As fab would say, Niiiiiiicccceeeeeee XD

[UnknownP]

Re: Please rate 1-10 fuckaaas duke - leaving you

AHAHA CANNOT believe you didn't like that cab fare money from me line, on of my favs, plus I sing/rap it with a melody so its EXTRA FRESH.

i found out what my problem with it was. it's not the line itself, it's that you're rhyming the whole "part" on the word me...

it worked fine, but i don't know, i couldn't get that line to flow out smooth, but record this shit and prove me wrong homie!

[Dukez]

Re: Please rate 1-10 fuckaaas duke - leaving you

lol i have a studio session lined up this summer ill record and post it here...


I hate how 58 people have viewed it and only 4 responses...that seems to be the trend in all the forums.... mad sad yo... just take 2 seconds out and comment on the damn thing lol

[BlakeJay]

Re: Please rate 1-10 fuckaaas duke - leaving you

lol i have a studio session lined up this summer ill record and post it here...


I hate how 58 people have viewed it and only 4 responses...that seems to be the trend in all the forums.... mad sad yo... just take 2 seconds out and comment on the damn thing lol

lol i can understand that..its hard tryna get people to listen let alone respond to your music when your unknown..but im in the same position u in so i understand..i rap also..but anywayyy it was nice..i like the last few bars the most

[Glen F Baby]

Re: Please rate 1-10 fuckaaas duke - leaving you

Really nice lyrics! Like at first you'd think it doesn't flow because of how it's typed up, but when you say it to yourself it actually flow pretty well! Just tell all your haters to just shut up because you're probably better than them. I like how clever you are, like you're not the most clever lyricist I've ever heard, but some of your lyrics I'm pretty impressed with for a beginner.

Trust me, your lyricism WILL get better if you just keep trying. I know this because at first I had the shittiest lines you've ever seen, and a very weak flow. But now, my flow IMHO is pretty unique and my lyricism and punchlines have drastically improved. I still make mistakes here and there, but hey, what's the point of living if you're never going to make mistakes?

[Nastykid]

Re: Please rate 1-10 fuckaaas duke - leaving you

Pretty good lyrics,and i tried rapping a bit over them and yeah they flow really nice.
All you gotta do is to stop using useless lines just to fill space.. instead of using a "filling" line just try to think of something meaningful that would fit in better and make the whole "song" overall deeper.

7/10

[Dukez]

Re: Please rate 1-10 fuckaaas duke - leaving you

hey, thanks for the comment.

what bars of mine do you consider filler?

[DurtyLyfe]

Re: Please rate 1-10 fuckaaas duke - leaving you

this was pretty bomb good lyrics
9/10