Yung Cash ft. T-Y - Stranger

[ATLien666]

So, I haven't posted a song here in a while, mainly cause I haven't done shit, lmao. But anywho, this is the most recent song I've done. T-Y's first verse and I'm second.
YouTube - Jhene Aiko ft. T-Y and Yung Cash - Stranger rap remix

Lyrics:
Baby, here we go again. I think my mind ain't straight/
I know your game, I know your taste, I just don't recognize your face/
Now here where my mind starts to race/
We can take this slow, or liven up the pace/
Either way, this'll end soon, cause ya'll act the same/
A pretty face with a steel heart/
Smart brain, and you steal hearts/
This is for you, you know who penned this, right?/
That black kid that falls quick, you know, the "sensitive" type/
We can drag this on, but lets face it/
You stuck up, bitch, you in the matrix/
You remind me of her, and she was like them/
Same ways, and you see I couldn't wife them/
So honestly, what's changed? What's different? What's new?/
Honestly, it's the same, now you listen for a clue/
You can't be a true to me, and you lyin' to you/
There ain't no subliminals; this is basic/
You just too "proud" to face it/
That's why you on the same shit/
This hurts you? But I hate this/
I swear it's like...

Feedback:
http://www.lilwaynehq.com/forums/tha...peechless.html
http://www.lilwaynehq.com/forums/tha...freestyle.html

[SachmoJones]

Re: Yung Cash ft. T-Y - Stranger

I like the beat, and the flow. The lyrical content was good too. Maybe its because of the beat but your presence on the mic was a little soft, almost whispering. Overall good track but it wasn't amazing. I think if you put more energy into your presence it would take the song from like a 2 up to around a 3.5.

[ATLien666]

Re: Yung Cash ft. T-Y - Stranger

Right on for the feed back, and yeah, after listening to the song again, I kinda think the same. But eh.

[Z!Greatest]

Re: Yung Cash ft. T-Y - Stranger

I'll be absolutely honest. If you want to go anywhere in the industry, you need to have more input on tracks than a 1 verse per song average. It smacks of laziness, let someone else's pre-written hook do the heavy lifting and space fill in between. In other words- "The Flo Rida". Nah I don't want to come over to harsh, just a general bug bear of mine, and it does seem to be a pattern your stuck in. Push yourself creatively outwith it, write a hook, a bridge, or just go ham for 3 verses. Just do something that shows off you instead of a hook singer who isn't even aware that you exist. (Collabing with a hook singer personally is fine, using a Beat With Hook is never good unless you dropping at least 2 verses IMO).

Anyway, onto the song. First guy needs to give up and find something else he enjoys. Straight up.

Yourself, better than the first guy definetely, but lacked energy or lyrical strength. It was by the numbers and something you'd expect Wayne to mail in for an artist or song he ain't feeling. You CHOSE this beat, this hook, this concept, if it was good enough for you to select from thousands of beats, show the same energy and passion on the beat that you felt when you initially selected it. Average, but I won't write you off yet, there's an uncut diamond in there somewhere. Your just hiding any potential under guest features.

And speaking of that, I thought the hook was bloody boring and went on about 10 seconds too long.

Anyway, I know you'll probaly feel a certain degree of animosity towards me after this feedback, justifiably perhaps, but I like to be 110% honest rather than - "Not bad, lyrics were decent, nothing stood out, but they fit the topic. Great beat and hook (a.k.a the bits you had no input in but it'll make you feel better to hear positivity), flow was a bit off at times try improve that. Other than that great job, 3.5/5!"

I'd rather be straight with you, you've had some decent tracks, but it always depends on the strength of hooks you don't write. Make your stamp on the next song bro, you got it in you.

2.5/5

[ATLien666]

Re: Yung Cash ft. T-Y - Stranger

I'll be absolutely honest. If you want to go anywhere in the industry, you need to have more input on tracks than a 1 verse per song average. It smacks of laziness, let someone else's pre-written hook do the heavy lifting and space fill in between. In other words- "The Flo Rida". Nah I don't want to come over to harsh, just a general bug bear of mine, and it does seem to be a pattern your stuck in. Push yourself creatively outwith it, write a hook, a bridge, or just go ham for 3 verses. Just do something that shows off you instead of a hook singer who isn't even aware that you exist. (Collabing with a hook singer personally is fine, using a Beat With Hook is never good unless you dropping at least 2 verses IMO).

Anyway, onto the song. First guy needs to give up and find something else he enjoys. Straight up.

Yourself, better than the first guy definetely, but lacked energy or lyrical strength. It was by the numbers and something you'd expect Wayne to mail in for an artist or song he ain't feeling. You CHOSE this beat, this hook, this concept, if it was good enough for you to select from thousands of beats, show the same energy and passion on the beat that you felt when you initially selected it. Average, but I won't write you off yet, there's an uncut diamond in there somewhere. Your just hiding any potential under guest features.

And speaking of that, I thought the hook was bloody boring and went on about 10 seconds too long.

Anyway, I know you'll probaly feel a certain degree of animosity towards me after this feedback, justifiably perhaps, but I like to be 110% honest rather than - "Not bad, lyrics were decent, nothing stood out, but they fit the topic. Great beat and hook (a.k.a the bits you had no input in but it'll make you feel better to hear positivity), flow was a bit off at times try improve that. Other than that great job, 3.5/5!"

I'd rather be straight with you, you've had some decent tracks, but it always depends on the strength of hooks you don't write. Make your stamp on the next song bro, you got it in you.

2.5/5

Honest feedback, I appreciate it, but I didn't pick the beat and every other song I post on here that's just me, has more than 1 verse from me (Catch Me, Break My Heart, Jar of Hearts, etc, etc.) But thanks.

[Z!Greatest]

Re: Yung Cash ft. T-Y - Stranger

If you didn't pick the beat, then I can't front. However I do seem to remember you posting another song with a female hook and just 1 verse, however if I'm wrong I'll duly apologise.

Seriously, don't take this feed the wrong way, just put your stamp on a song so we KNOW it's you, and not just another guy riding on a female hook lol.

Props on taking critique in your stride though.

[ATLien666]

Re: Yung Cash ft. T-Y - Stranger

If you didn't pick the beat, then I can't front. However I do seem to remember you posting another song with a female hook and just 1 verse, however if I'm wrong I'll duly apologise.

Seriously, don't take this feed the wrong way, just put your stamp on a song so we KNOW it's you, and not just another guy riding on a female hook lol.

Props on taking critique in your stride though.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure I have done it before, and it was definitely out of laziness; I try to avoid it. And yeah, I feel you, I'm just not good at hooks and what I do have, I'm waiting until I release my mixtape, but I will definitely try to have a bigger presence on my songs.