Professor E - Around Me (prod. Professor E) (unfinished)

[Tha Professor]

Yo, was gone for a sec, i'm back grinding. So ye, this song really came from the heart
i would like to know so far how this track is going and what areas i could improve on. Oh and i did create the beat as well. Hook is a bit crazy, but whatchu goin' do.

Download/Stream Link
Hulkshare.com Around Me.mp3

Lyrics

I can bend your yo thoughts if ya like it or not
Tied it in a knot like we in a yacht
Posted up chillin, lost in the plot
Tick Tock, I'm healing, while on the spot

The World around me, freezes around me
Movin swiftly, fuck bitches get money
I use to hustle every hour
20 franc bags, of my flower

The constant presence of weed creeped
Addictions feed, the conscious sleeped
Woke up with diarrhea and a hangover
Four leaf clover on me when i'm sober

Dangerous out here in the swiss cold
Gotta forge protection something like a sword
Three ingredients needed with a touch
Paper, weed, love n' such

[HOOK]
I know why, I know why
Your daughters missing, I know why
I know why she's a shy guy
Mama I know why Ima fly guy

Fuck speakin' in, Sci-Fi
I'm goin' in, High-Five
Whatever you say, is a lie
You'd be lucky if you catch me die


I use to not give a fuck about the karma or the luck
Cluck cluck, striked back like a chicken crossing, fuck
Hah, Lost my girl to some religious faith
So fuck made the pussy have a safe

Couldn't crack the code, just the stove
that heated the tension, cuz you had a stick up yo cove
Listen, i like ass
Rich cheek pass while in class

That's a spank by the way, don't forget during the day
Ima lay you down cuz you know what I say
That if we blaze, promise you no tears
When I front in the fucking rears

Fear, nah shawty pass the bier
School moms label me pressuring peers

Ima about to go in like inception
To her inner soul but then question
Do i know the tricks to win this election
By stealing the flag in God's section
!





Feedback

http://www.lilwaynehq.com/forums/tha...tml#post480206

http://www.lilwaynehq.com/forums/tha...tml#post480205

[lilchukieforeheadbig]

Re: Professor E - Around Me (prod. Professor E) (unfinished)

its very random which makes it kinda hard to follow because i dont know what you were talking about.
something seemed off on the chorus.
overall, very different and i would be interested in more perhaps to see what else u got.
do u have any dance type songs like gybsy?

[mykill]

Re: Professor E - Around Me (prod. Professor E) (unfinished)

Flow: C
Lyrics: ???

Overall: 2.25/5, I dont know what you were thinking about doing when you came up with this concept, but I can see the subtle hints of artistry in it. That "master plan" is there, so I give you props for that. My critique now will be on the execution of that theory. You have it all there on paper, but there are some parts that just dont seem to mesh. Your flow is off beat. Before you can ever think that you can accomplish that idea about this track you have, you NEED to fix that flow. It's not optional, its a necessity. Production is rock solid for this one. You did a great job on that. Very moody, catchy beat. I hope the finished version comes out better.

[Tha Professor]

Re: Professor E - Around Me (prod. Professor E) (unfinished)

its very random which makes it kinda hard to follow because i dont know what you were talking about.
something seemed off on the chorus.
overall, very different and i would be interested in more perhaps to see what else u got.
do u have any dance type songs like gybsy?

Thanks for checking it out! Got more coming sooon

Flow: C
Lyrics: ???

Overall: 2.25/5, I dont know what you were thinking about doing when you came up with this concept, but I can see the subtle hints of artistry in it. That "master plan" is there, so I give you props for that. My critique now will be on the execution of that theory. You have it all there on paper, but there are some parts that just dont seem to mesh. Your flow is off beat. Before you can ever think that you can accomplish that idea about this track you have, you NEED to fix that flow. It's not optional, its a necessity. Production is rock solid for this one. You did a great job on that. Very moody, catchy beat. I hope the finished version comes out better.

Thanks mykill for checking this one out. Listening to this again, the 2nd verse is fucked, as in i can barley understand what i am saying.. If u noticed, the first verse had flow and u could understand it fine. That's because i wasn't that high for that one. but then came the second verse and i was high as shit. but ye, finished version is goin be much hotter

[YUNG DIEZEL]

Re: Professor E - Around Me (prod. Professor E) (unfinished)

lyrics: 4/5

flow: 4/5

pretty cool song, and u got ya own swagg with it. i dig it.

the mastering could use some work, but then again it sounds cool with that extra reverb or whatever u did with it.

but yeah, you unique wit it and thats what i like to see keep it up man. just a few polishing here and there, and your shit would be solid.

[Tha Professor]

Re: Professor E - Around Me (prod. Professor E) (unfinished)

lyrics: 4/5

flow: 4/5

pretty cool song, and u got ya own swagg with it. i dig it.

the mastering could use some work, but then again it sounds cool with that extra reverb or whatever u did with it.

but yeah, you unique wit it and thats what i like to see keep it up man. just a few polishing here and there, and your shit would be solid.

thanks for listening yung, i'm glad that you're recognizing the creation of my own swag

[MC_Crary]

Re: Professor E - Around Me (prod. Professor E) (unfinished)

This song's wild man, I mean you kinda went all over with the lyrics, but theres something about it that I like. Your flow is nice, but the lyrics are crazy. I have very little understanding but then at somne points things are very clear then you go all of again. Still cool to me for som reason.Wanna hear the finished product.

[Tha Professor]

Re: Professor E - Around Me (prod. Professor E) (unfinished)

This song's wild man, I mean you kinda went all over with the lyrics, but theres something about it that I like. Your flow is nice, but the lyrics are crazy. I have very little understanding but then at somne points things are very clear then you go all of again. Still cool to me for som reason.Wanna hear the finished product.

Thanks for checking out mayn i think i have enough feedback now to improve this track, thanks all, expect a new track this week

[JSmooth]

Re: Professor E - Around Me (prod. Professor E) (unfinished)

Flow- 2.5/5 it sounded kinda dull. u didnt really have a commanding presence on the mic
lyrics- 2.5/5 didnt catch the concept so lyrics seemed randomly placed
overall- 2.5/5