Young Corruption:Motorized Instinct(Darkstep)

[Young Corruption]

This is my first time on a dubstep song and i think i did pretty good. its off my Mixtape that will not be dropped on this site due to certain reasons but i will drop the best songs off it. if you want a link to the mixtape let me know and i will PM you


Stream/Download: Motorized Instinct by YoungCorruption on SoundCloud - Create, record and share your sounds for free

Lyrics:

zombie flow coming faster
razor blades coming that chyeah
walking dead never rose
closet doors always closed
bullets flying through the window
what you saying is a thing though
lies coming out your mouth
head straighted down south
and i do it like i'm hated but i'm making the green
you ain't never seen me but i'm dealing the best weed
haha
(pause)

automatic flow 16 bullets ain't fo show
when the people bleed its like their blood never glows
i got to appeal to the masses
emo girls with the glasses tatt'd down to their asses
raped and thrown into caskets
i'm a fucking animal
born and rasied a cannible
eating childern for breakfeast is a mouthful
rightful is one thing evil is another
and i'm a murderer tied her up and strangled her
sinster shit devil wears prada
cut her head off with my bloody katana
ronda was her name and i don't give a fuck about her
buried that bitch who do you thinks gonna go find her
murders in the game and i'm all about that
you bitches smell funny, whats up pussy cat
i ain't doing this for you i'm just doing this me
so fuck what your bitches say i hate what you think
i'm going in the beat and i ain't never seen you
bullet proof chest say hello to mr. doom
1 pill till you head spins
2 pills till your eyes dim
3 pills now i'm next to you whats your next move

Feedback: http://www.lilwaynehq.com/forums/tha...irst-song.html
http://www.lilwaynehq.com/forums/tha...d-spirits.html

[MC_Crary]

Re: Young Corruption:Motorized Instinct(Darkstep)

The effect you tried to use on your vocals would've sounded better if it were cleaner. It was kinda static filled. I think I remember your sound quality being a little better than how that sounded. Your flow is actually improving which is acceptable. You still haven't filled out those bars like I was talking about though. You would sound so much better if you did, rather than stretching words to make it fit. Very nice beat though. Who produced it?

[Young Corruption]

Re: Young Corruption:Motorized Instinct(Darkstep)

The effect you tried to use on your vocals would've sounded better if it were cleaner. It was kinda static filled. I think I remember your sound quality being a little better than how that sounded. Your flow is actually improving which is acceptable. You still haven't filled out those bars like I was talking about though. You would sound so much better if you did, rather than stretching words to make it fit. Very nice beat though. Who produced it?

Thanks for the feedback. The quality lowered when it was uploaded to sound cloud for some reason cause it doesn't sound like that when i'm in the car playing it. I do have better quality songs on my new mic which i will drop soon. The filling out the bars to me is like learning a new style of flowing, something i need to practice on doing. Chadeo1 from youtube made the beat on his playstation using music2000 in 2001 so this beat is nearly 10 years old haha. Here is his link and i'm gonna link him to the song here in a minute

[ATLien666]

Re: Young Corruption:Motorized Instinct(Darkstep)

Flow: B - Your flow has gotten waaaaaay better. I can tell you're stretching your words heavy, not bad on this track, but don't fall in the habit of that. The only bad thing was that there wasn't a lot of emotion in the song, you still kinda have that robotic reading, but you're getting more into it, you can tell by the way you're ending your words.

Lyrics: C+ - No amazing/standout lines, but: "you bitches smell funny, whats up pussy cat" that was funny as hell, I liked that.

Overall: B

You're definitely improving, which is always good. The quality on this was bad, though. It kinda took away from the track. I'm anxious to hear more!

[Young Corruption]

Re: Young Corruption:Motorized Instinct(Darkstep)

Flow: B - Your flow has gotten waaaaaay better. I can tell you're stretching your words heavy, not bad on this track, but don't fall in the habit of that. The only bad thing was that there wasn't a lot of emotion in the song, you still kinda have that robotic reading, but you're getting more into it, you can tell by the way you're ending your words.

Lyrics: C+ - No amazing/standout lines, but: "you bitches smell funny, whats up pussy cat" that was funny as hell, I liked that.

Overall: B

You're definitely improving, which is always good. The quality on this was bad, though. It kinda took away from the track. I'm anxious to hear more!

Thanks for the feed. I think i have 2 tracks to drop that has emotion and not so much stretching of the words but maybe 1 has some cause i kinda sang it. its called Straight Stalker so that song has come funny lines if you like that one line. Will drop sometime this week and the quality is so much better cause i didn't use a pitch shifter like i did in this song

[mykill]

Re: Young Corruption:Motorized Instinct(Darkstep)

i cant even hear this. soundcloud keeps f'n up for me

EDIT: Got it to work finally

Flow: C-
Lyrics: C

Overall: 3.25/5, You HAVE improved a bit since the last few tracks you dropped here. Interesting concept. I like it. Its far different than the usual "crunk rap" that litters the Studio pages. My suggestions would be to keep working on that flow, more so maintain staying on beat. Still sounds like you're rapping to a beat in your head, and not the actual one you're rapping on, but with time you'll be good. Like others have said, the quality hurts the tracks overall performance. But still solid work. Cheers.