collab?

[js11]

alright im gonna right some lyrics down
feel free to add on[collab]


i pull so many bitches
i am not a doctor but i give so many stitches
gotta gun to your head, tell me what your last wish is
feed your ass your brains, oh so delicious

NASTY is my middle name, but call me by my first
feed your ass your blood, if you got thirst

my game, the greatest
my words, the latest
my life a horror movie, go head and rate it
my dick ready to go out, go head and date it

....

[Young Luc]

Re: collab?

when i touch a pussy it's a volcanic eruption
taste's good, man it's organic seduction
i got her yelling at the top of her lungs
lick her up so good it's like i got two tongue's
let's bring it back, let me spit a quick fact
everyday she tell's me "hit that"
but every so often i need a break, kit kat
im in a writer's block but i can still spit fat

feedback

[js11]

Re: collab?

when i touch a pussy it's a volcanic eruption
taste's good, man it's organic seduction
i got her yelling at the top of her lungs
lick her up so good it's like i got two tongue's
let's bring it back, let me spit a quick fact
everyday she tell's me "hit that"
but every so often i need a break, kit kat
im in a writer's block but i can still spit fat

feedback

your shit came out better than my shit[sick]

[js11]

Re: collab?

igot some more



im a pussy puller, call me cat chaser
i make girls eat each other, you cann call it "cat ate'er"
finished with yo pussy i say see ya late. er
ill serve you up like a white waiter
i like all pussy nigga.. i dont weight her..
if the pussy dead..ha nigga i am not a savior
but if its that nice sweet pussy i will save her
or savor her
pussy, pussy, never label her
she say> yu wanna fuck? you bet im able
in the bed you bet im stable
she get red when i strangle haha

[Young Luc]

Re: collab?

nice stuff bro.

[Young Luc]

Re: collab?

when i touch a pussy it's a volcanic eruption
taste's good, man it's organic seduction
i got her yelling at the top of her lungs
lick her up so good it's like i got two tongue's
let's bring it back, let me spit a quick fact
everyday she tell's me "hit that"
but every so often i need a break, kit kat
im in a writer's block but i can still spit fat

feedback

FEEDBACK?

[Patriarch]

Re: collab?

Luc -

I think your lines would sound better if the "lick her up so good it's like i got two tongue's" line were made longer, but that could just be the way I'm hearing it in my head. The following lines could use some slight lengthening too, as well as the possible additions of some internal rhyme. I don't know what you think, but this seems to flow a little more naturally in my head:

when i touch a pussy it's a volcanic eruption
taste's good, man it's organic seduction
i got her yelling at the top of her lungs
lick her slit so good it's like this Young's sprung two tongue's
let's bring it back on this quick track - let me spit a quick fact
everyday she tell's me that i gotta "hit that"
but every so often i need a break like a kit kat
im in a writer's block but i can still spit fat

[Young Luc]

Re: collab?

wow your good lol. i agree with you.

[MoneyIsEverything]

Re: collab?

Luc, good stuff.