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*Life's Struggle - rap/poem

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  • *Life's Struggle - rap/poem

    ok, so im not sure how long it took to do this (less then 2 hrs mos def..) , but i felt like trying to make a song kinda for the first time. it's set up like a story i guess, i didnt place bars anywhere but it should be easy to follow.

    soooo say what you think about it, and be an honest critic im not gonna cry if you say it sucks

    Edit* i was gonna name it WW4 .. but there's a song i know by that name, though it would've suited it better...



    I wake from tragic nights in cavern pits,
    shivering from the cold with no warmth but the burning of sticks.
    Our foolish ancestors have caused this, there's no black or white when it comes down to this.
    In a previous world where humans were heartless and gave up their souls for some profit.
    Was it really all worth it? To be hollow as an empty gun clip? Or to end up hollowed like Mummy's in Egypt after taking a hit from the gun's clip of a rival's placed hit?
    So I sit and reminisce. Geico's caveman commercial, I know yall laughed at it, but now it's real shit.
    As death creeps closer I keep one hand covering my eyes, the other on my holster.
    Paranoia has fried my mind like a toaster, Acedia has pinned me down like mortar.
    Don�t worry though I won't dote her, I�ll take a step over and continue further.
    As the air turns chill I struggle to keep up my will.
    At survival I�m ill, to live is critical so blood must spill.
    Winter has condensed the air so as i exhale and breathe there's a picture in the smoke i see
    where once men only exhaled the smoke of tobacco and weed to please their needs.
    Where could god's conscience in them be? To damage their bodies and the lives of so many?
    I�m at the top of the cliff looking through the cloudy maze in the distance, thinking if man will ever make it.
    Then it sprouts from me like a desperate seedling in Spring.
    Humans are like roses and pansies, we go through blooming stages of ecstasy, but must realize there will be some misery,
    knowing one day wilting we can think of our life and its liberties, and will follow after Dante in The Divine Comedy in times to be.
    Don�t worry though, Virgil has been sent to help thee through all struggles and slips.
    Lucifer has held onto men of greatness tight with his vice of great grip.
    But I look to the sky and know God's might will hold me tight with forgiveness through all of it.
    �Nature has wisely judged that the distinction of ranks, the peace and order of society, would rest more securely upon the plain and palpable difference of birth and fortune, than upon the invisible and often uncertain difference of wisdom and virtue.

    -Adam Smith, Theory of Moral Sentiments

  • #2
    Re: *Life's Struggle - rap/poem

    thats some deep shit good storytelling rap right there thats my favorite style of rap GREAT JOB now get a mic so you can record it.


    "Welcome to the murder show, I am the motherfuckin host"

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    • #3
      Re: *Life's Struggle - rap/poem

      Originally posted by Uzzi Kid
      thats some deep shit good storytelling rap right there thats my favorite style of rap GREAT JOB now get a mic so you can record it.
      thanks for the post man, it means something to me.
      yea, Rhythm and Poetry in it's entirety is what i like best, when artists rap about something meaningful, or put it into a story kind of.
      �Nature has wisely judged that the distinction of ranks, the peace and order of society, would rest more securely upon the plain and palpable difference of birth and fortune, than upon the invisible and often uncertain difference of wisdom and virtue.

      -Adam Smith, Theory of Moral Sentiments

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      • #4
        Re: *Life's Struggle - rap/poem

        I think a few lines got away from you in length, but it was a good effort nonetheless.

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        • #5
          Re: *Life's Struggle - rap/poem

          Originally posted by Patriarch
          I think a few lines got away from you in length, but it was a good effort nonetheless.
          yea there was a few parts in the middle that i rambled on
          �Nature has wisely judged that the distinction of ranks, the peace and order of society, would rest more securely upon the plain and palpable difference of birth and fortune, than upon the invisible and often uncertain difference of wisdom and virtue.

          -Adam Smith, Theory of Moral Sentiments

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          • #6
            Re: *Life's Struggle - rap/poem

            sweet

            And crazy�s what they callin� me, but crazy isn�t hardly what I am
            Try creatively retarded or amazingly rewarded

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