New Freestyle, Shady 2.0!

[RIOT]

Shady 2.0 Freestyle - YouTube

Got bored and decided to do this. Final version of this will be on "Up In Smoke" which is coming in 2012. Thanks for taking the time to check me out! I appreciate it!
-E-Low

[mykill]

Re: New Freestyle, Shady 2.0!

Flow: C+
Lyrics: C
Delivery: C-

Overall: 1.5/5, #1 you didnt read the studio rules. read the studio rules before posting #2 You need more feeling. Delivery was weak. where you reading something beside the camera. I cant really tell. #3 Lyrics could use some major work. A lot elementary rhymes in there. Punches arent bad, they're just really weak so you dont get that "oooooooh snap!" moment. Even the Chris Brown one was good in a sense, but it was meh on the delivery.

That said, here are your positives: You dont completely suck. You have a bit of natural potential. How long have you been rapping? You need to fine tune generally everything you do, but its not on a basement level. You're a mid-grade amateur, so you dont have far to be great. Expand you vocabulary to come up with more complex rhymes and it will help you master things like multies better. Practice a few more times so you can get the delivery down for a verse. And remember a rapper's wit is his most valuable asset. Work no those lyrics more.

Welcome to Tha Studio.

[pgathriller]

Re: New Freestyle, Shady 2.0!

Sounds like a lot of your words are being shoe-horned in or like your trying to hard to stay on tempo; keep it more natural and make the flow smoother -- there's a lot of pauses too, it doesn't really work in most spots; needs some work imo, keep at it man

p.s. the "subliminal, lyrical, miracle" line was dope

[RIOT]

Re: New Freestyle, Shady 2.0!

Flow: C+
Lyrics: C
Delivery: C-

Overall: 1.5/5, #1 you didnt read the studio rules. read the studio rules before posting #2 You need more feeling. Delivery was weak. where you reading something beside the camera. I cant really tell. #3 Lyrics could use some major work. A lot elementary rhymes in there. Punches arent bad, they're just really weak so you dont get that "oooooooh snap!" moment. Even the Chris Brown one was good in a sense, but it was meh on the delivery.

That said, here are your positives: You dont completely suck. You have a bit of natural potential. How long have you been rapping? You need to fine tune generally everything you do, but its not on a basement level. You're a mid-grade amateur, so you dont have far to be great. Expand you vocabulary to come up with more complex rhymes and it will help you master things like multies better. Practice a few more times so you can get the delivery down for a verse. And remember a rapper's wit is his most valuable asset. Work no those lyrics more.

Welcome to Tha Studio.

Wow, thanks for that feedback, that's the kind of criticism I'm looking for. I just started really rapping like half a year ago so I know I have a lot to work on (delivery especially, and lyrics). I'm glad you see potential in me and I'm gonna keep doing what I can to progress!

P.S. I've read the rules of the forum now. I didn't before because I was just looking for a place to promote this. Thanks for letting me know about that.

---------- Post added at 02:12 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:09 PM ----------

Sounds like a lot of your words are being shoe-horned in or like your trying to hard to stay on tempo; keep it more natural and make the flow smoother -- there's a lot of pauses too, it doesn't really work in most spots; needs some work imo, keep at it man

p.s. the "subliminal, lyrical, miracle" line was dope

I agree with that. I had a lot of pauses and got kinda choppy at some spots. I'm gonna keep working on it!
Oh, and I used one of your beats on my mixtape coming up on a track called Freak Show! I didn't even realize it haha. Here's the beat Hard Horrorcore Sample Beat (Tech N9ne Type)**DARK**SATANIC**DEMONIC** - YouTube

[DreezyBaby]

Re: New Freestyle, Shady 2.0!

Trying wayy to hard bro lol, the lyrics were somewhat nice, but your delivery messes it up.
You have alot of potential though so don't let that get to you..

Flow:2.5
Lyrics.3.5
Overall:3

Just focus on your delivery more