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Lyrics I just wrote with no title.

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  • #1

    Lyrics I just wrote with no title.

    Wrote this while listening to the Stay Schemin instrumental. I've been feeling like shit for a while; wrote this in 20 minutes. It's nothing exceptional nor do I think I have talent lol.

    Is my life that horrible or are my expectations just too high
    My two feet on the ground while everyone around me look so fly
    So much shit on my mind you'd think my brain's constipated
    That's why I got the glass in my hand, getting faded
    Is the room spinning or is it just me?
    I look at the clock it's a quarter past three
    Whatever I'm on got time go slow
    How long have I been here? Shit I don't know know
    Living my only life, but praying for another
    But still wishing that one day things will get better
    I ain't scared of death, I'm scared of dying before getting the chance to live
    I guess that's why I'm so sensitive
    Why I embrace the moment on the rare occasion where it comes around
    That magical moment that makes me turn my frown upside down
    It's the small things in life that make it worth living
    So I should spend less time thinking, and more thanking
    Being thankful for this life that I was given
    I'm far from being perfect but the Lord is forgiving
    I'm still young; assuming so much, knowing so little
    But deep down inside, I know I can win the battle

    I'd like to thank the haters for your cooperation
    I got that Doctor Chopper, give you an operation
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Re: Lyrics I just wrote with no title.

    You got some DOPE lines there. 'I ain't scared of death, I'm scared of dying' and ' So I should spend less time thinking and more time thanking' but I don't think the shit I don't know part fitted. You should record this, It's dope! This part of the forums are too inactive, so many good writers without attention here.
    ​

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    • #3
      Re: Lyrics I just wrote with no title.

      This is good. I agree you should definitely record this. You got some good lines, but it would be sick recorded

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      • #4
        Re: Lyrics I just wrote with no title.

        Oh wow, some people actually commented! Thanks for the feedback guys. Maybe one day I'll take my balls outta my purse, fix the text and record it.

        I'd like to thank the haters for your cooperation
        I got that Doctor Chopper, give you an operation

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: Lyrics I just wrote with no title.

          nothing negative to say here....

          positive things:
          your bars are long, maybe too long but thats good itll give you a nice flow

          they are relateable and sometimes edgy which is good


          although you might want to stay away from such phrases as "turn my frown up side down"
          its just a little corny and there are definitely slicker ways to say what you want to say.

          also try to use internal rhyme schemes... it will make the way you rhyme infinitely iller...
          like dont worry about JUST rhyming the last two words of a sentence but perhaps words in the middle of the sentence as well.

          overall i gotta say good job homie

          plz check my shit and comment!
          http://www.lilwaynehq.com/forums/wri...0-fuckaaz.html

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