It's duke mafuckas back with new bars. Rate 1-10 and give feedback plzzz

[Dukez]

Hey guys I am in the process of recording my first mixtape and some of you have given me feedback on my other lyrics. The same would be appreciated for this.

This is over jay z glory beat.

Rule the world

V1

Nine- twenty three
One nine eight nine
The day I arrived
They put me by my mama side
I was Kickin n screamin
Like a lil demon
I was glad to be breathing
I was already scheming
Look

Fucking right I graduated never looked back
Cap n gown flow they ain't checkin for dat hood rap
---Im back to rappin with degrees in a book bag
---Murder verses have em screaming where the hook at

I'm just a simple young fellow
Motherfucker
Fuckin with me is tragic I'm othello motherfucker Huh
---Never squeezin' like these bitches do with jello shots
Lyrical killer now count the dead like legolas

Flow in a chokehold
I apply pressure
fuck the beat good then I leave her five on the dresser
my mama told me kill em all have no mercy
Yeah
that's exactly what's she told me
she said

(Hook)
Ain't no doubt in my mind
You gon rule the world
(yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah)

Ain't no doubt in my mind
You gon rule the world

(Repeat)

V2

Who u calling a legend?
While I been gettin iller
They been reachin for some convalescence
Haha
--1 rule don't bend it
If you can't comprehend it just pretend and compliment it

I'm a menace fuck dennis
In the lab like a chemist
---Added to the fact that I just hit 120 credits
And
I like to live my life like every step my last breath
--look to the future leave the rumors in the past tense

--keep it real steer clear a the drama mama
--They keep hatin I keep chasin all these commas mama
--Every line I send em with venom like black mambas
--I swear ya honor I Jeffrey Dahmered the RAP genre

--all you dudes fake
(tick tick)
--Like tickin rollies
--giving me daps like u think u fucking know me
--they wanna show dude love: Mick foley
You the next big thing that's exactly what she told me she said

(Hook)

V3

Fall 6 times
Get right back up on the 7th
If you fall another time
You ain't guaranteed heaven
So I never trip
--over some stupid shit
Forget it
--it's duke muthafucka spittin magic: JJ Reddick

I'm ready already told you that im coming next summer
--I'm next to greatness like I'm Jeff becks drummer
Haha
Ayo bizi why they let me in?
--Next year
We like damn why they let me win?

--Girl ya boy ain't got a motherfuckin thing on me
Hil figir it out Just like Tommy I mean I
Ain't ya average rapper
she say u right boy u got talent
But if you grew up in the hood that be the best balance

Well
--I'ma jump in with both feet
--I had a dream that the rap game approached me
--She said marry me I'll never get cold feet
Yeah
That's exactly when she told me she said

(hook)


this is shit ive given feedback on:
http://www.lilwaynehq.com/forums/wri...mr-ham-me.html
http://www.lilwaynehq.com/forums/wri...verse-j-p.html

[Dukez]

anyone?......

[ustata]

Weezy end drake

[Dukez]

Weezy end drake

what?

[UnknownP]

damn, people are sleeping on this! so was I since I haven't been active!

great flow, clever rhymes, I actually wanted to steal some of em but I promise I won't haha

i like
"I'm a menace fuck dennis
In the lab like a chemist"

and

"Fall 6 times
Get right back up on the 7th
If you fall another time
You ain't guaranteed heaven
So I never trip
--over some stupid shit
Forget it
--it's duke muthafucka spittin magic: JJ Reddick"

did you ever finish that mixtape?
8/10

much love, peace

[Dukez]

thanks bud, just commented on your post i saw you messaged me.

No i never ended up doing it because my engineer was a flake and I met these ghetto kids who were too intimidated by my rhymes so it never really worked out....

But i am currently working on my other biggest hobby : writing screenplays

I am writing an origin story on vlad the impaler who famously becomes Count Dracula. Its deliciously fucked up. haha

Peace my bruh