A Verse for a remix

[The Rappereater]

I wrote a short verse for perhaps a remix of a song and I think its not bad but I'm ain't a rapper so who wanna do a remix ?
here is my verse:

Don't need to see her eyes
Don't need to see her face
Girl, just turn around
so I can observe you're ass
yeah thats nice more or less
so many girls
I can't say you're the one
but I can reserve a table for two
and later a bet for three
and after that night
we have to break up
like bruce lee
'cause money over bitches
bitches on my dick
my dick over money
and money over bitches
...
damn that shit... is sick

So what do you think ? Anybody interested ?

[JMSN]

Re: A Verse for a remix

sorry to be the only person to comment
but
this is fucking terrible.
no rhymes what so ever.

try better if your gonna post in here.

[jalilrussell]

Re: A Verse for a remix

sorry to be the only person to comment
but
this is fucking terrible.
no rhymes what so ever.

try better if your gonna post in here.

im not gonna lie, i agree with YMC.
step ya game up.

SS Salute ya digg!

[The Rappereater]

Re: A Verse for a remix

perhaps your both right
you know I'm from Germany my english skills aren't so good
but understand my idea and perhaps someone with more experience can work on this
sorry for posting

[JMSN]

Re: A Verse for a remix

perhaps your both right
you know I'm from Germany my english skills aren't so good
but understand my idea and perhaps someone with more experience can work on this
sorry for posting

dont be sorry for posting.
i just gave honest feedback.
there has been way worse.
just keep workin.
ya dig!

sorry to be the only person to comment
but
this is fucking terrible.
no rhymes what so ever.

try better if your gonna post in here.

SS Salute ya digg!

SS Salute to you as well!