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Rembrandt - Lost in Translation (Part 1)

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  • Rembrandt - Lost in Translation (Part 1)



    Lost in Translation 2.mp3
    MONSTER coming soon. This is the first full original song I've ever written, so this might be pretty subpar, but aye, lmao. but anyways, I digress, Lost in Translation is one of my favorite movies ever and I think the concept is pretty relatable; go on vacation/break, fall in love with a girl, not wanna leave. So this is what the song is kinda about, I fall in love with a girl over break, I convince her to break up with her boyfriend. In Part II, it'll get a lot more somber. Every song off my new mixtape will be named after a movie I love and will kinda be connected or have some sort of similarity.

    This will be the only love song on my mixtape.


    I felt that was necessary to say since the majority of songs I make are either romantic shit or sad shit.

    I haven't released the song yet, so I just wanna know what all needs fixing. I have a feeling the reverb might kill the song, and if you think the song is garbage and I should kill myself, let me know, I'll work on one of the two.

    Lyrics:

    Chorus (repeat 2x):
    This could be forever, but forever's not long enough/
    Lost in Translation with our feelings all lost in lost/
    Make your mind up, just don't keep a nigga waitin'/
    If you say that you love, promise you're fakin'/


    Verse 1:
    Started with a smile and it ended with a kiss/
    Girl, who would've thought our break would've ended like this/
    You got a man back home and I promise I won't tell/
    But if you feel neglected, just enjoy yourself/
    and I got a girl, too, but she only bitch and moan/
    That's why I threw away my phone and I'm delayin' goin' home/
    I know it's the wrong thing to do, but I rather be here with you/
    Lost in Translation, disconnected with the faces/
    We connected through body language, I'm explainin' the situation/
    Cause they don't get what we're facin'/
    They consider it taboo, 'cause in a week's time/
    there's no way I should've fell so hard for you/
    but no rules in love, at least ones we should follow/
    and these feelings should last forever, but probably won't see tomorrow/
    We could make a couple of days seem like our whole life/
    I'm sure we could stretch some years through one night/
    and make some lifelong long memories in a short time... right?/


    Chorus (2x):
    This could be forever, but forever's not long enough/
    Lost in Translation with our feelings all lost in lost/
    Make your mind up, just don't keep a nigga waitin'/
    If you say that you love, promise you're fakin'/


    Verse 2:
    Coupled with regrets and her boyfriend on her back/
    She textin' me sayin' that she wish she could take it back/
    I told her, "Let that nigga go, he ain't really worth the time"/
    She said, "I just don't know, it's so hard to make my mind... up"/
    I said, "Know what?"/
    She cut me off, I'm just like, "Fuck!"/
    She ain't really tryna listen and she claimin' that I'm fakin'/
    "If this love is fake, girl, it's one hell of an imitation./
    You and I against the world, really, let's just do us/
    Live our life like a movie, let these bitches boo us/
    We're picture perfect, girl, no matter how they fuckin' view us/
    The world doesn't get us, so they might as well lose us."/
    I got you, girl. I got you, though. I promise that I got you, though./
    I told you that I got you and it wasn't fuckin' optional/
    I get you wet and rock the boat/
    You love me down and hold me close/
    If we're still lost in translation, we don't need rosetta stone/


    Chorus (2x):
    This could be forever, but forever's not long enough/
    Lost in Translation with our feelings all lost in lost/
    Make your mind up, just don't keep a nigga waitin'/
    If you say that you love, promise you're fakin'/

    Outro:
    I had you, though.
    I had you, though.
    I swore I fuckin' had you, though.

    Last edited by ATLien666; 05-12-2012, 06:08 AM.


    You should be ashamed if you're following me on twitter and retweeting a nigga.

    You should be ashamed if you're not reblogging my posts on tumblr

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  • #2
    Really very good song, but i think there is some problem in mixing,otherwise it is nice..

    Comment


    • #3
      Flow seems even better than the last time you popped back up. You should have just put more feeling and sung the hook more. Seems like you were holding back. Still got that "too many words in the bar" problem. Lyrics are too the hard. The concept is executed pretty well, I think the "cutscene" in the middle is appropriate, but a little abrupt. I would have found a way to make that work a little more smoothly.

      Great track man, kudos.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by akkucc View Post
        Really very good song, but i think there is some problem in mixing,otherwise it is nice..
        Thanks, man! Anything in particular? I wanna release it sunday, so I have the weekend to fix things.

        Originally posted by mykill View Post
        Flow seems even better than the last time you popped back up. You should have just put more feeling and sung the hook more. Seems like you were holding back. Still got that "too many words in the bar" problem. Lyrics are too the hard. The concept is executed pretty well, I think the "cutscene" in the middle is appropriate, but a little abrupt. I would have found a way to make that work a little more smoothly.

        Great track man, kudos.
        Thanks! I've been practicing a lot, it might help that I'm finally remembering all my verses by heart, lol. Ah damn, I was fearing that. Do you think I should go back and record the chorus again? Ah damn, I'll definitely work on that. I even kinda noticed a few times in the first verse. -__- Do you have suggestions on how I could make it smoother? How about the mixing, does that sounds alright or should I change some things?

        and I truly appreciate it!


        You should be ashamed if you're following me on twitter and retweeting a nigga.

        You should be ashamed if you're not reblogging my posts on tumblr

        You should be ashamed if you're not subscribed to my youtube

        Comment


        • #5
          anymore feedback?

          I'm also looking for someone to drop some verses on Part II.


          You should be ashamed if you're following me on twitter and retweeting a nigga.

          You should be ashamed if you're not reblogging my posts on tumblr

          You should be ashamed if you're not subscribed to my youtube

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by ATLien666 View Post
            anymore feedback?

            I'm also looking for someone to drop some verses on Part II.
            PM Part II?

            ---------- Post added at 03:29 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:28 PM ----------

            Damn Bro..this shit is kinda funky..I like it.....alot....first Atlien^^^ download for me......Good shit bro...
            Mississippi x California x North Carolina



            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Cli-City View Post
              PM Part II?

              ---------- Post added at 03:29 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:28 PM ----------

              Damn Bro..this shit is kinda funky..I like it.....alot....first Atlien^^^ download for me......Good shit bro...
              I'm recording it tonight/tomorrow, but I'll PM it when it's done and dope, right on, bro!


              You should be ashamed if you're following me on twitter and retweeting a nigga.

              You should be ashamed if you're not reblogging my posts on tumblr

              You should be ashamed if you're not subscribed to my youtube

              Comment


              • #8
                bump for a little more feedback before I release this tomorrow.


                You should be ashamed if you're following me on twitter and retweeting a nigga.

                You should be ashamed if you're not reblogging my posts on tumblr

                You should be ashamed if you're not subscribed to my youtube

                Comment


                • #9
                  flow- 3.5/5 for the most part it was fine but like mykill said sometimes it seems like ur trying to put too many words in the bars
                  lyrics- 4/5 stayed consistent throughout and went with ur overall concept
                  overall 3.7/5
                  nice track so far, that cut in the middle didnt work for me though i thought it was an ad at first because it was so abrupt lol
                  ONLY FOR THE PROMO 3

                  ONLY FOR THE PROMO 3- http://www.datpiff.com/mixtapes-detail.php?id=420199
                  TRUE FEELINGS 2- http://www.datpiff.com/mixtapes-detail.php?id=384127
                  Twitter- https://twitter.com/Waay2Smooth
                  Construction of a Dream- http://www.datpiff.com/mixtapes-detail.php?id=316150

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    If you say that you love me promise that you aint fakin
                    The borders should be illegal instead of the people, who were here before the bible and all of its sequels

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by TupacShaquer View Post
                      If you say that you love me promise that you aint fakin
                      i dont get it

                      are you saying that to the threadstarter?

                      YELLOW DUCK MUTHAFUCKA!!!!!!!!!!!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by lilchukieforeheadbig View Post
                        i dont get it

                        are you saying that to the threadstarter?
                        Its apart of his hook
                        The borders should be illegal instead of the people, who were here before the bible and all of its sequels

                        Comment

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