A milli remix?

[MarvySte]

you listeners dont really understand
i wanna be rich 2 help my dad
so stop hatin and give a helpin hand
i got bullied it never stopped me
in the morning birds still singing
get changed eat breakfast go 2 skl
through the gates when fear would fall
and hell id fall with it
punches pushin u down bit by bit
remember the bad not the good times
guys talkin bout girl who arent shy
well i wanna girl i trust n love
now girls with hair blonder n blonder
looking rougher then some sand paper
and ive never really had a lot so
i dont ever take things 4 granted
and rapping bout real sh!t gets me hated
and those late nights and microwave meals
take after take perfecting my styles
and in life theres 2 many eels
clowning around doin motherfuckin cartwheels
amount of times you jump you land
so keep reachin 4 stars with your hands
i talk bout myself cu im proud of what ive done
2 sides 2 a story so think before you run
all my dreams began with my intention 2 end
imma follow this line no intention 2 bend
people can misjudge you you cant 2 yourself
dont take unnecessary pain and just be yourself
dont matter what race we got the same problems
were all in the same picture just different albums
and i just wanna say 1 more thing
why try and live someone elses life
you have your own story so live it
once you give you individuality away
who are you you stood out with it
my dedication and appreciation to my 2 fav rappers of alltime, lil wayne and tupac R.I.P

[StephenKING]

Songs with a concept are like my favorite (I like braggadocious records also, I've done a few myself ha), but yeah concept is the shit.

+: I like that you started off introducing that this wasnt gonna be a regular a milli remix with those first two lines, I feel as if it makes readers/listeners wanna listen even more or at least slows them from changing it, ya know? I like that they're straightforward also, it fits, it wont always I don't think but it really works well with this.
-: Around the middle it seems as if the rhyme scheme dissappeared starting with

remember the bad not the good times

. It may work out depending on how you say the words, which is always fun to play with, but if that works out it should be fairly well

Those are the main things I saw
Overall : 3/5

[MarvySte]

Safe bro chekk my other sh!t plz

[StephenKING]

Safe bro chekk my other sh!t plz

will do, dont forget to check mine