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SM Maniac- Dead Presidents Freestyle

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  • #13
    Flow still needs some work. The lyrics are there, but some of the rhyme schemes are still a little weird. Learning more fluent rhyme schemes will help with that flow. Good attempt on this classic track though. You brought it from the heart. keep it coming man. By the way this is an improvement, I just want you to continue growing.

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    • #14
      Alright on the real, this was terrible. You really need to put more effort into songs than you did this, especially considering the beat that you went on. I don't know if it's your quality or you had peanut butter on the roof of your mouth while you recorded but it's hard to understand anything you're saying, it's a good thing you had the lyrics up. Also, did you even write your lyrics to this beat? It sounds like you just picked a random verse and rapped it onto a random beat, I mean shit, it honestly sounds like you didn't even record to this beat and you just through it on there. You actually have to try and flow in the same way that the beat flows, match the melody, build your verse around the snares. You did none of that. And mentioning the Aurora shooting? c'mon son.

      http://www.youtube.com/SentusMusic
      http://www.facebook.com/SentusMusic7

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      • #15
        Originally posted by Sentus View Post
        Alright on the real, this was terrible. You really need to put more effort into songs than you did this, especially considering the beat that you went on. I don't know if it's your quality or you had peanut butter on the roof of your mouth while you recorded but it's hard to understand anything you're saying, it's a good thing you had the lyrics up. Also, did you even write your lyrics to this beat? It sounds like you just picked a random verse and rapped it onto a random beat, I mean shit, it honestly sounds like you didn't even record to this beat and you just through it on there. You actually have to try and flow in the same way that the beat flows, match the melody, build your verse around the snares. You did none of that. And mentioning the Aurora shooting? c'mon son.
        Respect for being real , always loved your feedback
        The borders should be illegal instead of the people, who were here before the bible and all of its sequels

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        • #16
          Originally posted by TupacShaquer View Post
          always loved your feedback
          you're such a cocksocker bro.
          he crucified you, and you turn around give him head like that?
          this shit wasnt even as bad as he said.

          YELLOW DUCK MUTHAFUCKA!!!!!!!!!!!

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          • #17
            Originally posted by lilchukieforeheadbig View Post
            you're such a cocksocker bro.
            he crucified you, and you turn around give him head like that?
            this shit wasnt even as bad as he said.
            Its obviously not if he has statements to back it up why. I would be mad if he just said "You suck bye"
            But he gave me reasons and that helps for me to improve

            Now get your ass out of my songs and out of these forums.
            The borders should be illegal instead of the people, who were here before the bible and all of its sequels

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            • #18
              Originally posted by TupacShaquer View Post
              Now get your ass out of my songs and out of these forums.
              stay in your place ole' fuckboy.
              once a fuckboy, always a fuckboy

              YELLOW DUCK MUTHAFUCKA!!!!!!!!!!!

              Comment


              • #19
                Originally posted by Sentus View Post
                Alright on the real, this was terrible. You really need to put more effort into songs than you did this, especially considering the beat that you went on. I don't know if it's your quality or you had peanut butter on the roof of your mouth while you recorded but it's hard to understand anything you're saying, it's a good thing you had the lyrics up. Also, did you even write your lyrics to this beat? It sounds like you just picked a random verse and rapped it onto a random beat, I mean shit, it honestly sounds like you didn't even record to this beat and you just through it on there. You actually have to try and flow in the same way that the beat flows, match the melody, build your verse around the snares. You did none of that. And mentioning the Aurora shooting? c'mon son.
                You know Sentus is back when some brutal feedback pops up... honest opinions are good though

                Comment


                • #20
                  I see you put alot of emotion on this, it shows, your started to sound more and more listenable.
                  Just gotta work on your flow more and more and more. Your getting much better.

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