Stephen K.I.N.G. - Bittersweet Floetry / My Way Of Life take 2 (no chorus for either)

[StephenKING]

Feedback is greatly appreciated, I'm uploading using my phone and stuff now, so hopefully these links work, these are not the final cuts of either song I plan on recording them more times but these are the final versions of lyrics I'm pretty sure.










feeds:
SPOILER
http://www.lilwaynehq.com/forums/tha...mac-ft-sk.html
http://www.lilwaynehq.com/forums/tha...days-work.html

[StephenKING]

Feedback is greatly appreciated, I'm uploading using my phone and stuff now, so hopefully these links work

Bump? and at the same time, do the links work for everyone? no feeds?

[Cli-City]

Share beast is acting up for me...hate that site...Imma let you know what I think when it's back up...

[StephenKING]

Share beast is acting up for me...hate that site...Imma let you know what I think when it's back up...

aight, I forgot all about Sharebeast's fuc ups... im putting on soundcloud atm

---------- Post added at 11:24 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:26 PM ----------

Share beast is acting up for me...hate that site...Imma let you know what I think when it's back up...

done

[pgathriller]

I like the first track better -- the 2nd one had a bit too much reverb on the vocals and sounded too muddy overall

First one is nice -- the levels seem cool; flow is nice but it seems like your flow is rushed at times, like you're trying to go faster than the beat; on some of your cadences you jump into this like double-time like flow but then you seem to start your next line a bit too early to compensate and it kinda throws the whole thing off

vocals could be a bit cleaner too (sounds really bassy) but overall it's pretty nice man

[YUNG DIEZEL]

i fux wit that mcdonalds line, becuz i be doin da same thing atm cuz my internet off lmao.

[mykill]

Bittersweet: There were some lines that were too many syllables. When you record it, record multiple times. The more you record the same verse, the more comfortable you get with it, and the better you get and adding inflection and feeling to your delivery. You need something to bridge the verses. Content wise, everything is solid.

Want me to make a chorus for it? I can if ya want...

My Way of Life: Too much reverb on this. I've noticed this is some of your verses on other songs too. May need to turn that down a bit. You want a health amount of reverb on vocals, but too much makes it sound like you're in the bottom of a pit. Great personal lyrics on this one.


BTW, I like the title of your tape. "Cosign Myself". Very cool indeed... I'm glad you've kinda come into the Studio as of late and been very active. You've put out some good stuff lately... keep it up...

[StephenKING]

I like the first track better -- the 2nd one had a bit too much reverb on the vocals and sounded too muddy overall

I like it better also, and yeah I didnt even listen to these after I recorded them so I listened after I put it up and noticed that, I'll fix it for the tape though when I re-record these


And when you say rushed, at which parts do you mean? sometimes i mean to do that, but i know i need to clean it up though so which parts would you say are the rushed ones (excluding the third verse cause I forgot what I had written and looked down when recording and lost all types of focus ha)

---------- Post added at 10:53 AM ---------- Previous post was at 10:49 AM ----------

Bittersweet: There were some lines that were too many syllables. When you record it, record multiple times. The more you record the same verse, the more comfortable you get with it, and the better you get and adding inflection and feeling to your delivery. You need something to bridge the verses. Content wise, everything is solid.

Want me to make a chorus for it? I can if ya want...

My Way of Life: Too much reverb on this. I've noticed this is some of your verses on other songs too. May need to turn that down a bit. You want a health amount of reverb on vocals, but too much makes it sound like you're in the bottom of a pit. Great personal lyrics on this one.


BTW, I like the title of your tape. "Cosign Myself". Very cool indeed... I'm glad you've kinda come into the Studio as of late and been very active. You've put out some good stuff lately... keep it up...

Yeah I'm tryna get this tape out this month, for deeper reasons that I may or may not put in a song idk,

My friend is a singer and I told him he could be on the tape he should be coming over today, if he doesn't then I may do it myself or ask you guys :/


OOOH and how is the monotone- ness you guys?

[mykill]

OOOH and how is the monotone- ness you guys?

It's not bad. What could help ya is mix it, track it out, then listen to it. Then rap with it. Get into it. You'll realize how different you sound when you do that. That's why I do like 5-7+ takes of each verse I do now, just so that natural sound comes out better. I'm still working on it though so dont look at me like I've perfected anything. Some people can just do it naturally, like Cli and Deezy.

[StephenKING]

It's not bad. What could help ya is mix it, track it out, then listen to it.

you mean like do all that stuff with the EQUO/ FMBC/ FR? and idk what track it out means.

[mykill]

Export the whole thing to a MP3, and listen to it. Or just play it while you got it in the editor and listen to it over and over. Then rap with it. You'll notice the difference in your voice when you're not reading. That's why people always say "memorize your lyrics before you record" because you perform more naturally that way. Listening to it like that gives you a better vibe. Every time I do it, I find points where I could use different inflection or just pronounce a bar better.

I've been listening to LIVE! for two+ months reworking parts here and there and re-recording verses.