Da R Star - Journey (Wedding Song)

[mrstraightfire]

Feedback:
http://www.lilwaynehq.com/forums/tha...ml#post1168601
http://www.lilwaynehq.com/forums/tha...ml#post1168609

What's up, this is a song I wrote for one of my best friend's wedding. It's about the mixed emotions, ranging from fear, doubt and ultimately joy, of a young couple approaching their Wedding Day. I made the beat too. Lyrics below.

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Journey (Lyrics)

SPOILER
Verse 1

Sitting with my whole life ahead of me
24, I'm already ready to write the rest of it
Such a commitment to make at any age
Much even greater when they say that many fail

It's daunting, the pressure is building up
And it's specially getting tough with the dread of splitting, plus
Many of the guys, tell me to try
A slice of every pie, but in my eyes that's a heavy lie

And in my heart of hearts I know I'm right
Seven years by my side, that is clear she's my bride
Or am I just, convincing my self
That's the Devil in my ear, just messing with my head

'Cause to me, when you know then you just do
But there's only a few folks who think it's true
You and I, two souls meant to fuse
You and I, a new road meant for two

Chorus

So come walk with me, to greener pasture
I don't ever see, being without ya'
You were meant for me, so from here and after
I ain't going on alone so please

Follow me, come take my hand so we can
Walk right down this Journey
Follow me, until the end
And we'll walk right down this Journey

Verse 2

The day with The Big Dress: a little girl's dream
More than tale of a princess, it means the world to me
Such a commitment I've waited to make for days
Nothing is greater than embracing your love this way

Surely I've heard the: "It's too early"
Mommy told me to tie the knot with somebody that's worthy to be
The father of my daughter or the father of my son
I'm pouring out my heart in this, he ought to be the one

But with all the magazines and the stories that you read
From women that you meet or when your friend's been deceived
Hard not to believe that every men lie and cheat
But somehow somewhere deep I know this ain't applying to me

It' something special, such a blessing, see
Call it luck or destiny, but regardless to me
I'm so proud to have landed such a man and a friend
And now is the beginning of plan 'til the end

Chorus

So come walk with me, to greener pasture
I don't ever see, being without ya'
You were meant for me, so from here and after
I ain't going on alone so please

Follow me, come take my hand so we can
Walk right down this Journey
Follow me, until the end
And we'll walk right down this Journey

Verse 3

Now, here's my message to ya'
Listen to yourselves and no one else, 'cause that's what is love
I'mma be honest, I hardly know a thing about it,
But when I look at you, I think I got it

You alone have a say in how the story develops
Don't be like one of the people who chose to let up
I wish it works forever, this is for worst or better
So when it's storm and rainy weather, think how long you've stayed together

'Cause it's no Journey, without a share of twists and turns
'Cause really, that's what marriage is for sure
But what's a fight here and there in a whole life of joy
When stuff go down, just work it out 'cause no one likes divorce

And I know it's probably obvious, but I hope it got you conscious
To be grateful 'cause most people don't get to find this
Bond, this fondness for each other, two consummate lovers
I dedicate this poem, doing this song was my honor

And my final word is, I wish you the best
'Cause you highly deserve it, this I can bet
Ready for the ride? Guess that's the case
So for one last time look at each other and say

Chorus

So come walk with me, to greener pasture
I don't ever see, being without ya'
You were meant for me, so from here and after
I ain't going on alone so please

Follow me, come take my hand so we can
Walk right down this Journey
Follow me, until the end
And we'll walk right down this Journey

[mrstraightfire]

48 views no feedback? Please, I would really like any kind of opinions.

Thanks

[mykill]

48 views no feedback? Please, I would really like any kind of opinions.

Thanks

I dislike your name. For some reason, when I see it, i think it's "mrs straightfire". Guess I'm just dyslexic or something...

then the "Da A Star" thing is just weird too...

Why not just be "Straight Fire" or "Da Star"?

As far as the song goes, you have a few noticeable slip ups, but the flow otherwise is perfect. Good mixing. What'd the married couple say when you showed them this song? Wasn't that hyped about it though, but it's pretty good quality.

Mykill's Verdict: 3.8/5

PS - I made your thread more presentable, so hopefully people will check it out now.

[mrstraightfire]

Thank you mykill. Good feedback.

Well, It's actually Da R Star (My gov name is Reginald) so maybe you are dyslexic lol. I get the "why don't you pick one name" quite a few times And I don't really have any answer, but I've had that "Da R Star" name since I was 14 (I'm 25) so I'm kinda attached to it.

When you say noticeable slip ups, can you be more specific please? That would help me in the future. And as for the couple, they really loved it, I actually performed it at their wedding and it was the first time they were hearing it too.

Thanks again for your feedback.

[mykill]

Well, It's actually Da R Star (My gov name is Reginald) so maybe you are dyslexic lol. I get the "why don't you pick one name" quite a few times And I don't really have any answer, but I've had that "Da R Star" name since I was 14 (I'm 25) so I'm kinda attached to it.

lol looks like an "A" on the video... Shows how much I pay attention sometimes lol