Artille Official Thread [Written Only] [Updated Feb. 20]

[ItzTheRemixShawty!]

Re: Artille Official Thread [Written Only]

For those too lazy to go to the original post like my dude Lil Jay here is my newest work

Another 16 Bars(December 9, 2009)
I thought of this verse while sitting in a bus seat
My lyrics got your girl swept off her feet
All I know is victory, what the fuck is defeat
Her touch is the lyrics and her heart is the beat
I bring the heat, yeah I spit that flame
Give me the crown, I'm the king of the game
I write in my head like I tattoo my brain
Too many thoughts, I might bust a vein
White T, gym shorts, and some fresh forces
I'm eating these rappers, all three courses
Watched by the cops like all red Porsches
I spit fire, I could light torches
Don't call me Jrock, but I'm oh so lyrical
I can lend you bars, infinite material
I speak the truth, my lyrics so serious
You think you can beat me, you must be delirious

FEEDBACK...

Great shit bro.

Annnnnd that shit was wicked....Needs to work together in the future

[Artille]

Re: Artille Official Thread [Written Only]

For those too lazy to go to the original post like my dude Lil Jay here is my newest work

Another 16 Bars(December 9, 2009)
I thought of this verse while sitting in a bus seat
My lyrics got your girl swept off her feet
All I know is victory, what the fuck is defeat
Her touch is the lyrics and her heart is the beat
I bring the heat, yeah I spit that flame
Give me the crown, I'm the king of the game
I write in my head like I tattoo my brain
Too many thoughts, I might bust a vein
White T, gym shorts, and some fresh forces
I'm eating these rappers, all three courses
Watched by the cops like all red Porsches
I spit fire, I could light torches
Don't call me Jrock, but I'm oh so lyrical
I can lend you bars, infinite material
I speak the truth, my lyrics so serious
You think you can beat me, you must be delirious

FEEDBACK...

Great shit bro.

Annnnnd that shit was wicked....Needs to work together in the future

No doubt man. I also realized something today. I can't right worth a damn! I was writing my Studio dis last night, and lets just say I haven't started yet because I threw away the trash I wrote. It was weak as fuck. I might start bringing you guys 16+ bars a day.

[ItzTheRemixShawty!]

Re: Artille Official Thread [Written Only]

For those too lazy to go to the original post like my dude Lil Jay here is my newest work

Another 16 Bars(December 9, 2009)
I thought of this verse while sitting in a bus seat
My lyrics got your girl swept off her feet
All I know is victory, what the fuck is defeat
Her touch is the lyrics and her heart is the beat
I bring the heat, yeah I spit that flame
Give me the crown, I'm the king of the game
I write in my head like I tattoo my brain
Too many thoughts, I might bust a vein
White T, gym shorts, and some fresh forces
I'm eating these rappers, all three courses
Watched by the cops like all red Porsches
I spit fire, I could light torches
Don't call me Jrock, but I'm oh so lyrical
I can lend you bars, infinite material
I speak the truth, my lyrics so serious
You think you can beat me, you must be delirious

FEEDBACK...

Great shit bro.

Annnnnd that shit was wicked....Needs to work together in the future

No doubt man. I also realized something today. I can't right worth a damn! I was writing my Studio dis last night, and lets just say I haven't started yet because I threw away the trash I wrote. It was weak as fuck. I might start bringing you guys 16+ bars a day.

i cant write either my whole process is i usaully have the 1st line in my head then freestlye abit untl i say some hot that rhyme with wat i just said lol...long process but hey it gets the job done most of the time..Just know that not everything you write is gonna be hott shit

[JMSN]

Re: Artille Official Thread [Written Only] [Updated Dec. 9]

do us all a favor artille dont drop 16 a day. as a matter of fact dont drop any bars any day
your shit is beyond wack.

[ItzTheRemixShawty!]

Re: Artille Official Thread [Written Only] [Updated Dec. 9]

do us all a favor artille dont drop 16 a day. as a matter of fact dont drop any bars any day
your shit is beyond wack.

YMC Come On Man Let the Kid Do Wat He Wants If You Dont Wanna See It Dont Come In The thread....Hey Im Cool With Ya So Dont Hate Me And Diss Me Cuz Im Say This

[Artille]

Re: Artille Official Thread [Written Only] [Updated Dec. 9]

do us all a favor artille dont drop 16 a day. as a matter of fact dont drop any bars any day
your shit is beyond wack.

In all seriousness, did you even read one bar? I seriously doubt it. Give me some feedback please. If you don't like my material, tell me what's wrong with it. Help me fix it.

[JMSN]

Re: Artille Official Thread [Written Only] [Updated Dec. 9]

i aint gonna hate on dizzy, your shits raw.
but artille, come on mayne if you want my respect drop a decent audio track, or post better lyrics.

[Artille]

Re: Artille Official Thread [Written Only] [Updated Dec. 9]

i aint gonna hate on dizzy, your shits raw.
but artille, come on mayne if you want my respect drop a decent audio track, or post better lyrics.

Again please read my material and give constructive criticism. Don't tell me it's whack and then end your post. Dizzy hasn't released an audio track either so I'm not sure where you are going with that.

EDIT: Wanted to point out that I beat Dizzy in a written battle about a month ago. Not trying to dis you Dizzy, just trying to make a point. Your material has improved since then. Still can't stand the Capital Letters All Of The Time Though. It Frustrates Me Also, YMC, I'm pretty sure you voted for me in the written battle, not definite, but it's a possibility.

[ItzTheRemixShawty!]

Re: Artille Official Thread [Written Only] [Updated Dec. 9]

i aint gonna hate on dizzy, your shits raw.
but artille, come on mayne if you want my respect drop a decent audio track, or post better lyrics.

Again please read my material and give constructive criticism. Don't tell me it's whack and then end your post. Dizzy hasn't released an audio track either so I'm not sure where you are going with that.

EDIT: Wanted to point out that I beat Dizzy in a written battle about a month ago. Not trying to dis you Dizzy, just trying to make a point. Your material has improved since then. Still can't stand the Capital Letters All Of The Time Though. It Frustrates Me Also, YMC, I'm pretty sure you voted for me in the written battle, not definite, but it's a possibility.

No Offense Takin..Yea You Beat Me Better Man Won(yea ymc did vote for you)

But yea now to do wat i cam here for to post this hottness you inspired i wrote it after reading yours.....

Swagger So Catastrophic You Need A Telescope To Watch It
O So Futuristic If You Dont Like Me Den Go Past It
Killin These Niggaz Someone Please Go Get The Caskets
Hot Sixteen Now You Really Underground Bitch
Lyrical Homicide The Verses Get Away With Murder
Dee Mays Shawty The Loudest Nigga You Neva Heard Of?
That Dont Sound Right Let Me Get On The Left Of Ya
See Me Im Kinda Wreckless So You Other Dudes Be Careful Bruh
Mays Send Slugs And I Aint Talkin Escargot
Talkin Bout These Bullets Commin From The Semi-Auto
Matic I Cause Static Like A TV With No Cable
Polo Horses Goin Wild Man I Think I Need A Stable
Bitches Mad At Mays They Want My Dick But I Aint Able
I Am Married To The Music And My Lyrics Is My Main Ho

FEEDBACK!

[Artille]

Re: Artille Official Thread [Written Only] [Updated Dec. 9]

i aint gonna hate on dizzy, your shits raw.
but artille, come on mayne if you want my respect drop a decent audio track, or post better lyrics.

Again please read my material and give constructive criticism. Don't tell me it's whack and then end your post. Dizzy hasn't released an audio track either so I'm not sure where you are going with that.

EDIT: Wanted to point out that I beat Dizzy in a written battle about a month ago. Not trying to dis you Dizzy, just trying to make a point. Your material has improved since then. Still can't stand the Capital Letters All Of The Time Though. It Frustrates Me Also, YMC, I'm pretty sure you voted for me in the written battle, not definite, but it's a possibility.

No Offense Takin..Yea You Beat Me Better Man Won(yea ymc did vote for you)

But yea now to do wat i cam here for to post this hottness you inspired i wrote it after reading yours.....

Swagger So Catastrophic You Need A Telescope To Watch It
O So Futuristic If You Dont Like Me Den Go Past It
Killin These Niggaz Someone Please Go Get The Caskets
Hot Sixteen Now You Really Underground Bitch
Lyrical Homicide The Verses Get Away With Murder
Dee Mays Shawty The Loudest Nigga You Neva Heard Of?
That Dont Sound Right Let Me Get On The Left Of Ya
See Me Im Kinda Wreckless So You Other Dudes Be Careful Bruh
Mays Send Slugs And I Aint Talkin Escargot
Talkin Bout These Bullets Commin From The Semi-Auto
Matic I Cause Static Like A TV With No Cable
Polo Horses Goin Wild Man I Think I Need A Stable
Bitches Mad At Mays They Want My Dick But I Aint Able
I Am Married To The Music And My Lyrics Is My Main Ho

FEEDBACK!

Probably should have posted this verse in your thread, but since I inspired it here's my feedback.

I liked it overall, but some parts kind of slipped. The line that stood out the most was

"Mays send slugs and I ain't talkin escargot /// Talkin bout these bullets coming from the semi-auto"
This just proves to me that you're getting much better. Kind of relates to something I said to YNR yesterday....

"40 rounds of slug ammo in your chest /// Hit your respiratory system and leave you with no breath"

[ItzTheRemixShawty!]

Re: Artille Official Thread [Written Only] [Updated Dec. 9]

i aint gonna hate on dizzy, your shits raw.
but artille, come on mayne if you want my respect drop a decent audio track, or post better lyrics.

Again please read my material and give constructive criticism. Don't tell me it's whack and then end your post. Dizzy hasn't released an audio track either so I'm not sure where you are going with that.

EDIT: Wanted to point out that I beat Dizzy in a written battle about a month ago. Not trying to dis you Dizzy, just trying to make a point. Your material has improved since then. Still can't stand the Capital Letters All Of The Time Though. It Frustrates Me Also, YMC, I'm pretty sure you voted for me in the written battle, not definite, but it's a possibility.

No Offense Takin..Yea You Beat Me Better Man Won(yea ymc did vote for you)

But yea now to do wat i cam here for to post this hottness you inspired i wrote it after reading yours.....

Swagger So Catastrophic You Need A Telescope To Watch It
O So Futuristic If You Dont Like Me Den Go Past It
Killin These Niggaz Someone Please Go Get The Caskets
Hot Sixteen Now You Really Underground Bitch
Lyrical Homicide The Verses Get Away With Murder
Dee Mays Shawty The Loudest Nigga You Neva Heard Of?
That Dont Sound Right Let Me Get On The Left Of Ya
See Me Im Kinda Wreckless So You Other Dudes Be Careful Bruh
Mays Send Slugs And I Aint Talkin Escargot
Talkin Bout These Bullets Commin From The Semi-Auto
Matic I Cause Static Like A TV With No Cable
Polo Horses Goin Wild Man I Think I Need A Stable
Bitches Mad At Mays They Want My Dick But I Aint Able
I Am Married To The Music And My Lyrics Is My Main Ho

FEEDBACK!

Probably should have posted this verse in your thread, but since I inspired it here's my feedback.

I liked it overall, but some parts kind of slipped. The line that stood out the most was

"Mays send slugs and I ain't talkin escargot /// Talkin bout these bullets coming from the semi-auto"
This just proves to me that you're getting much better. Kind of relates to something I said to YNR yesterday....

"40 rounds of slug ammo in your chest /// Hit your respiratory system and leave you with no breath"

Where Does It Slipp At???

[Enigma]

Re: Artille Official Thread [Written Only] [Updated Dec. 9]

i aint gonna hate on dizzy, your shits raw.
but artille, come on mayne if you want my respect drop a decent audio track, or post better lyrics.

Again please read my material and give constructive criticism. Don't tell me it's whack and then end your post. Dizzy hasn't released an audio track either so I'm not sure where you are going with that.

EDIT: Wanted to point out that I beat Dizzy in a written battle about a month ago. Not trying to dis you Dizzy, just trying to make a point. Your material has improved since then. Still can't stand the Capital Letters All Of The Time Though. It Frustrates Me Also, YMC, I'm pretty sure you voted for me in the written battle, not definite, but it's a possibility.

No Offense Takin..Yea You Beat Me Better Man Won(yea ymc did vote for you)

But yea now to do wat i cam here for to post this hottness you inspired i wrote it after reading yours.....

Swagger So Catastrophic You Need A Telescope To Watch It
O So Futuristic If You Dont Like Me Den Go Past It
Killin These Niggaz Someone Please Go Get The Caskets
Hot Sixteen Now You Really Underground Bitch
Lyrical Homicide The Verses Get Away With Murder
Dee Mays Shawty The Loudest Nigga You Neva Heard Of?
That Dont Sound Right Let Me Get On The Left Of Ya
See Me Im Kinda Wreckless So You Other Dudes Be Careful Bruh
Mays Send Slugs And I Aint Talkin Escargot
Talkin Bout These Bullets Commin From The Semi-Auto
Matic I Cause Static Like A TV With No Cable
Polo Horses Goin Wild Man I Think I Need A Stable
Bitches Mad At Mays They Want My Dick But I Aint Able
I Am Married To The Music And My Lyrics Is My Main Ho

FEEDBACK!

Just curious, the first line can you explain your reasoning behind it. I know of one possible way that would make sense, but I want to hear yours, so I'll give my question - If you're flow's catastrophic, why would you need a telescope to see it? Wouldn't that mean it would be small since you need a zoomed in view of it?