Freestyle to the beat of cleanin out my closet

[YungMulaTheImage]

im in the cold night air, its as cold as can be
its as cold as year one hundred and three
and next time you buy an axe to chop down on me
remember ima killer, dont be mestin with me
and next time you walk through that door
i'll kill you you little queen o the whores
u tried to make my heart hurt but it never did last
now im tryin to forgive myself for the past
you lead my to my room but my legs are failin
i guess I'll be crawling on the ground, man i be snailin
and when the police come by i'll be out of here
and you'll be dead on the road like a run- over deer

[ckballa3]

Re: Freestyle to the beat of cleanin out my closet

dat was ite..better then i can do cuz i dont rap. but it was ite

[YungMulaTheImage]

Re: Freestyle to the beat of cleanin out my closet

ight. i digg

[YungMulaTheImage]

Re: Freestyle to the beat of cleanin out my closet

damn i really need some mo comments on thiz

[Patriarch]

Re: Freestyle to the beat of cleanin out my closet

It would have been better had you continued your door/whores rhyme for a couple more lines. Starting your thing off with 4 rhyming lines and then switching to 2 can sometimes be really awkward - as it is in this case.

[YungMulaTheImage]

Re: Freestyle to the beat of cleanin out my closet

ight

[YungMulaTheImage]

Re: Freestyle to the beat of cleanin out my closet

u kno i never really thought bout tht thx

[MszYNR]

Re: Freestyle to the beat of cleanin out my closet

It would have been better had you continued your door/whores rhyme for a couple more lines. Starting your thing off with 4 rhyming lines and then switching to 2 can sometimes be really awkward - as it is in this case.

You know, after reading this comment I reread your freestyle and he's right.

Another thing, for some reason, I can't imagine this going over the Cleaning Out My Closet beat.

[YungMulaTheImage]

Re: Freestyle to the beat of cleanin out my closet

itz goin ova tha verse and if u were talkin bout that then ok but it worx