a good flow..

[biggie>wayne]

while u keep ur eyes closed.
i got mine open like they are froze.
suppose me and u battle?
i will push u out of zone.
i will blow u till u are blown.
ur mom will tell u
sticks and stones will break ur bones.
and i got the stone.
and u bout to have a tomb.
so pick up the phone.
call someone u know.
but wait the phone is on hold.
cause ur life is as ugly as toad.
behold ur worst nightmare.
it is me and i have rose.
i spray ur ass like a hose.
my words are sick as cold.
my noise smells clone that is polo.
it aint urs cause u are to poor to afford.
see my words connect like a cord.
u think when u spit ppl like it.
well to me i think they just bored.
i keep going towards.
and u keep going backwards.
i have so many bars i need somewhere to store.
lines so hot please call them the core.
ur girl was so nice call her a whore.
i rip u apart till u are tore.
i got this rap game caught like a lure
dont try to battle me. cause u have just been warned.
u are like a fetis and i am so born.
ur rymes are as corny as corn.
my words are sharp as horn.

[Patriarch]

Re: a good flow..

One thing that I've noticed in a lot of your works is that you seem to frequently run into problems with the number of syllables in each line, or perhaps more accurately, the placement of your syllables.

i will push u out of zone.
i will blow u till u are blown.

Using these as an example, you can see that these lines should flow pretty similarly, as they have basically the same structure. In introducing the "u" after "till", though, you are switching up the flow in a place where it just doesn't work.

[biggie>wayne]

Re: a good flow..

thats true.. but overall was it a good flow?

[YungMulaTheImage]

Re: a good flow..

it was ight
but im gon spit

i think ur caught up in the flow
like a silver arrow
hittin on the ground, a (CABOOM) loud sound
it's the second round, the best one in town
the fightin is gettin violent, so righteous
u got more water then a fire- hydrant
not dangerous, only timeless
never boring, never rhymeless
only golden, never silver
scratch the platinum, this is the new millennium

$$youngmoney$$

[koolkiddale13]

Re: a good flow..

thats true.. but overall was it a good flow?

pretty good.
9/10

[biggie>wayne]

Re: a good flow..

thanks finnally someone on this websites knows the meaning of a FLOW

[bigweezyfan1]

Re: a good flow..

yep they do