Midnight Music- Yung Zimmie (Snippet)

[Zimmie]

basically scrapped this up not sure if its any good i have two more verses recorded for it but i want to see how you guys like it as it stands now (first ever recorded song)

FEEDBACK:

http://www.lilwaynehq.com/forums/tha...sic-video.html
http://www.lilwaynehq.com/forums/tha...avid-slim.html
http://www.lilwaynehq.com/forums/tha...86-_-alex.html

LYRICS:

stuck in a state of stagnation
im not patient can’t find my location
on google maps these rappers dieing out
no innovation dieing from realness deprivation
locked in they minds voluntary incarceration
they say imitation is the highest form of flattery
these rappers empty shells like dead batteries

[Waynasite]

We can hear you breathing?

[Zimmie]

We can hear you breathing?

Where? Quality isnt the greatest I recorded this on my i phone haha at the end of the verse those two breaths you hear are from me cutting out the two other verses quality is super shitty but keep in my mind this is my first time recording

[Lucifer]

too short friend

[Zimmie]

too short friend

defs can agree with that i got a 1:37 version but i want to re-record the second verse before i send it out just wanted to see how you guys liked the way it was going being my first project.

[Mulafreak Jr.]

It's not that bad actually, for your first recording session on the mic. You have a good voice, but you dont know how many words to use in a line - it doesnt flow very well. You are also kynda off beat but thats usual at the beginning. Definetly better than my first session though keep it up dude!

[Zimmie]

It's not that bad actually, for your first recording session on the mic. You have a good voice, but you dont know how many words to use in a line - it doesnt flow very well. You are also kynda off beat but thats usual at the beginning. Definetly better than my first session though keep it up dude!

thank you bro really appreciate that

[YMCMB357]

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→ ★如果您在英、加、美、澳、欧洲等留学过程中或回国后遇到以下问题：
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◇回.国时间很长，忘记办理；
◇回.国马上就要找工作，办给用人单位看；　　
◇企事业单位必须要求办理的
◇需要报考公务员、购买免税车、落转户口
◇申请留学生创业基金
→ ★广招代理为您做的是：
◆办理真实使馆公证（即留学回国人员证明，不成功不收费！！！）　
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◆办理各国各大学文凭（世界名校一对一专业服务，可全程监控跟踪进度） 　
◆全套服务：毕业证、成绩、单真实使馆公证、真实教育部认证。让您回国发展信心十足！
◆可以提供钢印、水印、烫金、激光防伪、凹凸版、最新版的毕业证、百分之百让您绝对满意、设计，印刷;毕业证、成绩、单，真实大使馆教育部认证，速度快。
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2：最专业耐心的客服咨询老师为您解答您的一切问题！
3：与真实原版文件（毕业证书，成绩、单）使用同样制作材料，质地以及完善各项防伪技术！
4：保证代办真实的使馆留学人员回国证明！
5：保证代办真实的教育部海外学位学历认证！（我们如何向您保证？请联系网站客服会为您解答）
6：国外大学原厂FRAME 保护好您的材料（所有Frame与原版学校相同供货渠道）
7：在选择专业方面，做到最专业的咨询与建议（我们每个学期都会去各个大学拿最新的专业课程分析）
8：定金+尾款模式，让您对我们更加信赖与放心！

[Zimmie]

Thoughts on verse?

[KidComet]

Its not bad, but its cause its wayyy to short this was a 7 bar verse, i cant judge nothing off 7 bars

your first 5 bar scheme was good

stuck in a state of stagnation
im not patient can’t find my location
on google maps these rappers dieing out
no innovation dieing from realness deprivation
locked in they minds voluntary incarceration



But then ending with this couplet


they say imitation is the highest form of flattery
these rappers empty shells like dead batteries


kinda threw everything off you shouldve continued on into another long scheme


lyrically you are already up there using multis and then using adjectives and stuff, thats good


but the flow itself and delivery

remember, your voice is like an instrument that is just adding to the instrumental

[Zimmie]

Its not bad, but its cause its wayyy to short this was a 7 bar verse, i cant judge nothing off 7 bars

your first 5 bar scheme was good

stuck in a state of stagnation
im not patient can’t find my location
on google maps these rappers dieing out
no innovation dieing from realness deprivation
locked in they minds voluntary incarceration



But then ending with this couplet


they say imitation is the highest form of flattery
these rappers empty shells like dead batteries


kinda threw everything off you shouldve continued on into another long scheme


lyrically you are already up there using multis and then using adjectives and stuff, thats good


but the flow itself and delivery

remember, your voice is like an instrument that is just adding to the instrumental

Thank you bro really appreciate this can only get better from here i suppose haha

[BloodKin]

basically scrapped this up not sure if its any good i have two more verses recorded for it but i want to see how you guys like it as it stands now (first ever recorded song)

FEEDBACK:

http://www.lilwaynehq.com/forums/tha...sic-video.html
http://www.lilwaynehq.com/forums/tha...avid-slim.html
http://www.lilwaynehq.com/forums/tha...86-_-alex.html

LYRICS:

stuck in a state of stagnation
im not patient can’t find my location
on google maps these rappers dieing out
no innovation dieing from realness deprivation
locked in they minds voluntary incarceration
they say imitation is the highest form of flattery
these rappers empty shells like dead batteries

these rappers empty shells, load em up, bust salt to the slug......
[MENTION=85023]Lucifer[/MENTION], you read.. it was not complete so what's wrong with short? What i've learnt now days is people have very short attention spans, so you have to mash so much into a small duration for the attention to be kept... and that goes for you.

arrange it in a way that the use of your word's and you have to be very visual with them. along with the sound arrangement has to fit right. IT WILL PEAK SOMEONES INTERNESTED.....