Artille Official Thread [Written Only] [Updated Feb. 20]

[Artille]

Re: Artille Official Thread [Written Only] [Updated Dec. 9]

Posted some boredom bars in the "Off the Dome" thread

Along with some joke around SMILEY BARS!!!

[Artille]

Re: Artille Official Thread [Written Only] [Updated Dec. 9]

Here's a new written titled Economy (Preview)

This will be my first single when I get my mic. This is only part of the first verse. Enjoy.

Economy (Preview)(December 12, 2009)
My dudes use to ride around in brand new whips
And they never gave a shit about politics
Then Bush stepped in office and fucked up shit
Now we gotta rely on Barack to make the fix
Struggling to pay bills and keep a house
Money's real tight when you come from the South
Tryna figure out what you wanna be
But you can't do shit in this economy
Since the recession the money been tight
It doesn't matter if you're black or white
We need someone to get us out of this hole
That requires everyone to play their role
Working a nine to five on minimum wage
Government takes out 200, leaving you in a rage
We all have to do what we can
Step one take the troops out of Afghanistan

Feedback would be appreciated

[Redd Herring]

Re: Artille Official Thread [Written Only] [Updated Dec. 9]

Here's a new written titled Economy (Preview)

This will be my first single when I get my mic. This is only part of the first verse. Enjoy.

Economy (Preview)(December 12, 2009)
My dudes use to ride around in brand new whips
And they never gave a shit about politics
Then Bush stepped in office and fucked up shit
Now we gotta rely on Barack to make the fix
Struggling to pay bills and keep a house
Money's real tight when you come from the South
Tryna figure out what you wanna be
But you can't do shit in this economy
Since the recession the money been tight
It doesn't matter if you're black or white
We need someone to get us out of this whole
That requires everyone to play their role
Working a nine to five on minimum wage
Government takes out 200, leaving you in a rage
We all have to do what we can
Step one take the troops out of Afghanistan

Feedback would be appreciated

yo dog you gotta record that! thats 100% truth right there man n the whole verse is on point i have not one negative thing to say about it.

favorite parts gotta be..... the whole verse haha i cant even pick a favorite part dude you jus blew that one out the park. lookin forward to how this sounds

[Artille]

Re: Artille Official Thread [Written Only] [Updated Dec. 9]

Here's a new written titled Economy (Preview)

This will be my first single when I get my mic. This is only part of the first verse. Enjoy.

Economy (Preview)(December 12, 2009)
My dudes use to ride around in brand new whips
And they never gave a shit about politics
Then Bush stepped in office and fucked up shit
Now we gotta rely on Barack to make the fix
Struggling to pay bills and keep a house
Money's real tight when you come from the South
Tryna figure out what you wanna be
But you can't do shit in this economy
Since the recession the money been tight
It doesn't matter if you're black or white
We need someone to get us out of this whole
That requires everyone to play their role
Working a nine to five on minimum wage
Government takes out 200, leaving you in a rage
We all have to do what we can
Step one take the troops out of Afghanistan

Feedback would be appreciated

yo dog you gotta record that! thats 100% truth right there man n the whole verse is on point i have not one negative thing to say about it.

favorite parts gotta be..... the whole verse haha i cant even pick a favorite part dude you jus blew that one out the park. lookin forward to how this sounds

Thanks man. I think this is the first time that I wrote about one subject. Just wrote from the heart. But there is more where that came from, coming in the next few weeks

[YoungFire420]

Re: Artille Official Thread [Written Only] [Updated Dec. 12]

Theres never no moment in your bars that are good. I mean they are decent rhyming lines, with meanings. No punches, no multies. Nothing to make someone like your WRITTEN verse alot. But since you are recording it, its a how different thing. If you can have a decent written record verse, and flow good. You will have a hot verse.

[Artille]

Re: Artille Official Thread [Written Only] [Updated Dec. 12]

Theres never no moment in your bars that are good. I mean they are decent rhyming lines, with meanings. No punches, no multies. Nothing to make someone like your WRITTEN verse alot. But since you are recording it, its a how different thing. If you can have a decent written record verse, and flow good. You will have a hot verse.

I think this where people get confused about hip-hop. It is not all about punchlines and metaphors. Music is suppose to be from the heart and have a meaning. All other genres of music have a meaning behind them and don't have any metaphors (See Rock for more info). Most of my verses I write have no meaning at all and focus mainly on saying I'm the best and punchlines. I guess that is why I enjoy songs like Something You Forgot and Apologize (Remix) from Lil Wayne. Those are two of the songs that have a lot of meaning behind them.

[Safe_Kid]

Re: Artille Official Thread [Written Only] [Updated Dec. 12]

Theres never no moment in your bars that are good. I mean they are decent rhyming lines, with meanings. No punches, no multies. Nothing to make someone like your WRITTEN verse alot. But since you are recording it, its a how different thing. If you can have a decent written record verse, and flow good. You will have a hot verse.

I think this where people get confused about hip-hop. It is not all about punchlines and metaphors. Music is suppose to be from the heart and have a meaning. All other genres of music have a meaning behind them and don't have any metaphors (See Rock for more info). Most of my verses I write have no meaning at all and focus mainly on saying I'm the best and punchlines. I guess that is why I enjoy songs like Something You Forgot and Apologize (Remix) from Lil Wayne. Those are two of the songs that have a lot of meaning behind them.

Why are you even replying to him? Hes just a troll.

[Artille]

Re: Artille Official Thread [Written Only] [Updated Dec. 12]

Theres never no moment in your bars that are good. I mean they are decent rhyming lines, with meanings. No punches, no multies. Nothing to make someone like your WRITTEN verse alot. But since you are recording it, its a how different thing. If you can have a decent written record verse, and flow good. You will have a hot verse.

I think this where people get confused about hip-hop. It is not all about punchlines and metaphors. Music is suppose to be from the heart and have a meaning. All other genres of music have a meaning behind them and don't have any metaphors (See Rock for more info). Most of my verses I write have no meaning at all and focus mainly on saying I'm the best and punchlines. I guess that is why I enjoy songs like Something You Forgot and Apologize (Remix) from Lil Wayne. Those are two of the songs that have a lot of meaning behind them.

Why are you even replying to him? Hes just a troll.

Because he posted feedback about my verse and I gave him my opinion about it. Yes he's a troll, yes he's a racist, but I still respond to all feedback, positive or negative.

Do you have any feedback on my verse?

[YoungFire420]

Re: Artille Official Thread [Written Only] [Updated Dec. 12]

Theres never no moment in your bars that are good. I mean they are decent rhyming lines, with meanings. No punches, no multies. Nothing to make someone like your WRITTEN verse alot. But since you are recording it, its a how different thing. If you can have a decent written record verse, and flow good. You will have a hot verse.

I think this where people get confused about hip-hop. It is not all about punchlines and metaphors. Music is suppose to be from the heart and have a meaning. All other genres of music have a meaning behind them and don't have any metaphors (See Rock for more info). Most of my verses I write have no meaning at all and focus mainly on saying I'm the best and punchlines. I guess that is why I enjoy songs like Something You Forgot and Apologize (Remix) from Lil Wayne. Those are two of the songs that have a lot of meaning behind them.

No, no. I feel you man. But for me to actually like a written alot, its gotta have crazy lines. The only way for me to "connect" with deeper lyrics is recorded. So im sure if you can spit good and whatever. Once you record, this song will be good.

[Safe_Kid]

Re: Artille Official Thread [Written Only] [Updated Dec. 12]

What you posted before was true shit, and deep shit. Don't stop doing that.

[Artille]

Re: Artille Official Thread [Written Only] [Updated Dec. 12]

Theres never no moment in your bars that are good. I mean they are decent rhyming lines, with meanings. No punches, no multies. Nothing to make someone like your WRITTEN verse alot. But since you are recording it, its a how different thing. If you can have a decent written record verse, and flow good. You will have a hot verse.

I think this where people get confused about hip-hop. It is not all about punchlines and metaphors. Music is suppose to be from the heart and have a meaning. All other genres of music have a meaning behind them and don't have any metaphors (See Rock for more info). Most of my verses I write have no meaning at all and focus mainly on saying I'm the best and punchlines. I guess that is why I enjoy songs like Something You Forgot and Apologize (Remix) from Lil Wayne. Those are two of the songs that have a lot of meaning behind them.

No, no. I feel you man. But for me to actually like a written alot, its gotta have crazy lines. The only way for me to "connect" with deeper lyrics is recorded. So im sure if you can spit good and whatever. Once you record, this song will be good.

Well thank you for the feedback. I'm sure you will like it once I record it.

What you posted before was true shit, and deep shit. Don't stop doing that.

Which verse, the one I just did, or my previous ones?

[Safe_Kid]

Re: Artille Official Thread [Written Only] [Updated Dec. 12]

Theres never no moment in your bars that are good. I mean they are decent rhyming lines, with meanings. No punches, no multies. Nothing to make someone like your WRITTEN verse alot. But since you are recording it, its a how different thing. If you can have a decent written record verse, and flow good. You will have a hot verse.

I think this where people get confused about hip-hop. It is not all about punchlines and metaphors. Music is suppose to be from the heart and have a meaning. All other genres of music have a meaning behind them and don't have any metaphors (See Rock for more info). Most of my verses I write have no meaning at all and focus mainly on saying I'm the best and punchlines. I guess that is why I enjoy songs like Something You Forgot and Apologize (Remix) from Lil Wayne. Those are two of the songs that have a lot of meaning behind them.

No, no. I feel you man. But for me to actually like a written alot, its gotta have crazy lines. The only way for me to "connect" with deeper lyrics is recorded. So im sure if you can spit good and whatever. Once you record, this song will be good.

Well thank you for the feedback. I'm sure you will like it once I record it.

What you posted before was true shit, and deep shit. Don't stop doing that.

Which verse, the one I just did, or my previous ones?

The one 2 pages before...