Official Joke Thread

[YoungTune.]

Re: Farmer and Kids

There was a farmer who raised watermelons. He was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelon patch at night and eat watermelons. After some careful thought he came up with a clever idea that he thought would scare the kids away for sure. So he made up the sign and posted it in the field. The next day the kids show up and they see this sign, it says "Warning!! One of the watermelons in this field has been injected with cyanide."

So the kids run off, make up their own sign and post it next to the sign that the farmer made. The farmer shows up the next week and when he looks over the field he notices that no watermelons are missing but he notices a new sign next to his. He drives up to the sign which read: "Now there are two".

Uhmm...

....

[IgnoranceIsBliss]

Re: Farmer and Kids

There was a farmer who raised watermelons. He was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelon patch at night and eat watermelons. After some careful thought he came up with a clever idea that he thought would scare the kids away for sure. So he made up the sign and posted it in the field. The next day the kids show up and they see this sign, it says "Warning!! One of the watermelons in this field has been injected with cyanide."

So the kids run off, make up their own sign and post it next to the sign that the farmer made. The farmer shows up the next week and when he looks over the field he notices that no watermelons are missing but he notices a new sign next to his. He drives up to the sign which read: "Now there are two".

Uhmm...

....

It means 2 of the watermelons now contains cyanide but it's not funny...

[YoungFire420]

Re: Official Joke Thread

So the world's tallest building has been opened in Dubai, with the world's highest Mosque within it. Anyone here a pilot?

[IgnoranceIsBliss]

Re: Official Joke Thread

So the world's tallest building has been opened in Dubai, with the world's highest Mosque within it. Anyone here a pilot?

That joke is awesome bruh

[KnockMeOut]

Re: Official Joke Thread

So the world's tallest building has been opened in Dubai, with the world's highest Mosque within it. Anyone here a pilot?

PMSL

[jdmasfuck]

Re: Official Joke Thread

Women rights

[jdmasfuck]

Re: Official Joke Thread

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QVJpjHPZ ... re=related

[Cody]

Re: Official Joke Thread

So the world's tallest building has been opened in Dubai, with the world's highest Mosque within it. Anyone here a pilot?

HaHa

[YoungFire420]

Re: Official Joke Thread

Money doesn't grow on tree's ...... Then why do bank's have branches?

[CashMoneyMillionaire]

Re: Official Joke Thread

A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary... As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago. the wife asked the husband. when you first saw my naked body in front of you. what was going through your mind?.

The husband replied. All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out and suck your tits dry."

Then as the wife undressed she asked what are you thinking now?

He replied, It looks as if I did a pretty good job.

[CashMoneyMillionaire]

Re: Official Joke Thread

SRY FOR DOUBLE POST JUST BRINGING THIS THREAD TOP THE TOP (BUMP)

One day an at home wife is alone and the doorbell rings.

She opens it to a guy, "Hi, is Tony home?"

The wife replies, "No, he went to the store, but you can wait here if you want."

So they sit down and after a while of silence the friend says "You know Sara, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred buck just to see one."

Sara thinks about it for a second and figures, what the hell - a hundred bucks! She opens her robe and shows one to him for a few seconds. He promptly thanks her and throws a hundred bucks on the table. They sit there a while longer and guy then says "That was so amazing I've got to see both of them. I'll give you another 100 dollars if I could just see the both of them together."

Sara amazed by the offer sits and thinks a bit about it and thinks, heck, why not? So she opens her robe and gives Chris a nice long chance to cop a look.

A while later Tony arrives back home from the store. The wife goes up to him, "You know, your friend Chris came over."

Tony thinks about it for a second and says, "Well did he drop off the 200 bucks he owes me?"

i do not take credit for this joke btw

Wife : "I dreamt they were auctioning off dicks. The big ones went for ten dollars and the thick ones went for twenty dollars."

Husband : "How about the ones like mine?"

Wife : "Those they gave away."

Husband : "I had a dream too...I dreamt they were auctioning off cunts. The pretty ones went for a thousand dollars, and the little tight ones went for two thousand."

Wife : "And how much for the ones like mine?"

Husband : "That's where they held the auction

[Chainz]

Re: Official Joke Thread

What’s worse than getting raped by Jack the Ripper?
Getting fingered by Captain Hook.