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Official Joke Thread

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  • Re: Official Joke Thread




    Too bad they spelled 'warning' wrong.
    http://www.iamshanell.com
    LOG ON AND GET INTO IT!!!!

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    • Re: Official Joke Thread

      Originally posted by GypsyStar



      Too bad they spelled 'warning' wrong.
      LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo

      * Warring *
      "Full white top cup full of codeine mix
      Still eat a couple rappers for my protein bitch
      I'm on my so mean shit!
      And you don't know me bitch
      I do it for those who did it before me bitch
      My goon is 'gon ride even with a slow leak bitch
      And if we gettin chicken you get NO piece bitchh"

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      • Re: Official Joke Thread

        Originally posted by Young Money!24
        Originally posted by GypsyStar



        Too bad they spelled 'warning' wrong.
        LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo

        * Warring *

        just fantastic LOL! that's hilarious!

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        • Re: Official Joke Thread

          Originally posted by GypsyStar



          Too bad they spelled 'warning' wrong.
          and they spelled "invaded" wrong

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          • Re: Official Joke Thread

            I like this thread so BUMP



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            • Re: Official Joke Thread

              Bumping for trillness.

              As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."
              She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
              A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

              _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
              One morning a woman was walking out of her front door, when she notices a strange little man at the bottom of her garden.
              "You're a goblin," she says, "I caught you and you owe me three wishes!". So the goblin replies "OK, you caught me fair and square, what's your first wish?". The woman stops and thinks for a second, "I want a huge mansion to live in.", goblins replies "OK, you've got it.". Woman again thinks it over, "My second wish is a Mercedes." "OK, you've got that too." "My last wish is a million dollars!". The goblin then says "OK, you've got it. But to make your wishes come true you have to have sex all night with me." "OK then, if that's what it takes..."
              Next morning the little man wakes the woman up.
              "Tell me," says the man, "how old are you?" "I'm 27", she replies
              "Fuck me", says the man, "27 and you still believe in goblins"
              ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
              A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. She says "But sir, its just a sperm bank!", "I don't care, open it now!!!" he replies. So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples. The guy says "Take one of those sperm samples and drink it!", she looks at him "BUT, they are sperm samples???" , "DO IT!". So the nurse sucks it back. "That one there, drink that one as well.", so the nurse drinks that one as well. Finally after 4 samples the man takes off his ski mask and says, "See honey - its not that hard."

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              • Re: Official Joke Thread

                A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. She says "But sir, its just a sperm bank!", "I don't care, open it now!!!" he replies. So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples. The guy says "Take one of those sperm samples and drink it!", she looks at him "BUT, they are sperm samples???" , "DO IT!". So the nurse sucks it back. "That one there, drink that one as well.", so the nurse drinks that one as well. Finally after 4 samples the man takes off his ski mask and says, "See honey - its not that hard."
                LOL and i already bumped this thread



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                • Re: Official Joke Thread

                  This beautiful woman one day walks into a doctors office and the doctor is bowled over by how stunningly awesome she is. All his professionallism goes right out the window...
                  He tells her to take her pants, she does, and he starts rubbing her thighs.
                  "Do you know what I am doing?" asks the doctor?
                  "Yes, checking for abnormalities." she replies.
                  He tells her to take off her shirt and bra, she takes them off. The doctor begins rubbing her breasts and asks, "Do you know what I am doing now?", she replies, "Yes, checking for cancer."
                  Finally, he tells her to take off her panties, lays her on the table, gets on top of her and starts having sex with her. He says to her, "Do you know what I am doing now?"
                  She replies, "Yes, getting herpies - thats why I am here!"
                  _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

                  This couple were in bed getting busy when the girl places the guys hand onto her pussy. "Put your finger in me..." she asks him. So he does without hesitation, as she starts moaning. "Put two fingers in...", she says. So in goes another one. She's really starting to get worked up when she says, "Put your whole hand in!". The guy's like, "Ok!". So he has his entire hand in, when she says moaning aloud "Put both your hands inside of me!!!". So the guy puts both of his hands in! "Now clap your hands..." commands the girl. "I can't", says the guy. The girl looks at him and says "See, I told you I had a tight pussy!".
                  ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

                  A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!". The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"
                  ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

                  Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!" The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too. Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing!"

                  Comment


                  • Re: Official Joke Thread

                    three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "i had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!" the guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too. Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, "that's funny, i dreamed i was skiing!"
                    rofl winner best joke out



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                    • Re: Official Joke Thread

                      Originally posted by Franknstein View Post
                      rofl winner best joke out
                      i got more jokes on the way.lol.

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                      • Re: Official Joke Thread

                        Originally posted by Cody View Post
                        i got more jokes on the way.lol.
                        good but that ski joke who the fuck thinks of that



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                        • Re: Official Joke Thread

                          Originally posted by Franknstein View Post
                          good but that ski joke who the fuck thinks of that
                          masterminds of jokes. mutha fuckers that sit in their basements all day and look at paint dry.lol.


                          Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw. So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language.
                          He pointed to his eye meaning "I", pointed to his knee meaning "need", then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion. The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his chop and starts masturbating.
                          The worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the ground floor and says, "What the fuck is your problem!!! I said I needed a hand saw!".
                          The other guy says, "I knew that! I was just trying to tell you - I'm coming!"
                          ______________________________________________________________________________________

                          A kindergarten teacher one day is trying to explain to her class the definition of the word "definitely" to them. To make sure the students have a good understanding of the word, she asks them to use it in a sentence. The first student raised his hand and said "The sky is definitely blue". The teacher said, "Well, that isn't entirely correct, because sometimes it's gray and cloudy".
                          Another student says, "Grass is definitely green." The teacher again replies "If grass doesn't get enough water it turns brown, so that isn't really correct either."
                          Another student raises his hand and asks the teacher "Do farts have lumps?" The teacher looked at him and said "No...But that isn't really a question you want to ask in class discussion." So the student replies, "Then I definitely shit my pants."
                          ______________________________________________________________________________________

                          The queen of England was visiting one of Canada's top hospitals, and during her tour of the floors she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating.
                          "Oh my god!", said the Queen, "That's disgraceful, what is the meaning of this???"
                          The doctor leading the tour explains, "I'm sorry your ladyship, this man has a very serious condition where the testicles rapidly fill with semen. If he doesn't do that five times a day, they would explode and he would most likely die instantly."
                          "Oh, I am sorry" said the Queen.
                          On the next floor they passed a room where a young nurse was giving a patient a blow job.

                          "Oh my God", said the Queen, "What's happening in there?"

                          The Doctor replied, "Same problem, better health plan."


                          Three sisters wanted to get married, but their parents couldn't afford it so they had all of them on the same day. They also couldn't afford to go on a honeymoon so they all stayed home with their new hubbies. That night the mother got up because she couldn't sleep.
                          When she went past her oldest daughter's room she heard screaming. Then she went to her second daughters room and she heard laughing. Then she went to her youngest daughter's room and she couldn't hear anything.
                          The next morning when the men left the mother asked her oldest daughter, "Why were you screaming last night?" The daughter replied "Mom you always told me if something hurt I should scream."
                          "That's true." She looked at her second daughter. "Why were you laughing so much last night?"

                          The daughter replied "Mom you always said that if something tickled you should laugh."

                          "That's also true." Then the mother looked at her youngest daughter. "Why was it so quiet in your room last night?"

                          The youngest daughter replied "Mom you always told me I should never talk with my mouth full."
                          ______________________________________________________________________________________
                          Last edited by Cody; 06-16-2010, 03:59 AM. Reason: more mutha fuckin jokes

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