Official Written Tournament [WINNER ANNOUNCED]

[JrockHQ]

Re: Official Written Tournament [Round 1 Results Posted]

Step by Step analyzing & feedback - Jrock vs CMM battle from Trillphill aka Enigma

I'ma start this off with a little reminder
Stay in your place, "graphics category" before i have to clean the plate
Your the lame that stays neutral because you don't wanna "gas the race"
I put shells in your brain like a plastic case
Battling me is bad news im psycho
If you want good news, i suggest you switch your car insurance to "geico"
My rhymes perform surgery on your lines because there sick
I keep a pair of scissors just in case your umbilical cord wants a split
Your verse is gonna be irrelevant, past tense
You already know you lost cause when you compare me and you
Theres no comparison, i fucked the mic even when it was celibate
No one likes you on HQ, you tried to fit in only to get kicked by the end of the shoe
paranormal is my normal activity
your afraid of name-brand, you prefer home remedies
Today ain't your day kid. you don�t even know the mistake you making
You better believe this is real beef, this ain't no fake �Canadian� bacon

Similes: II (could've been 1 but I'll give it anyways
Metaphors: I
Punches: III

I only highlighted the ones in both verses that actually made sense regardless your explanations. Also, this isn't a diss topic so you didn't have to diss to do good, but when you have a topic like "figurative language" it's too vague.


The noise is music to my mutha fuckin ears
you can call me crazy but not like im britney spears
in 12 days, im alive for 16 years
yeh its my birthday lets get drunk, cheers
Fire is day, when it goes out it's night
bitch this is a fact and everyone know that im right
girl i love u all the time your the sun in my sky
you just sometime gotta let me spark the spliff and get high
im Rolling in dough you aint got flow
ill wreck all u bitches like this tournaments a show
what it do hq we all rapper eaters
i make everyone laugh u can call me russel peters
i bark like a dog you squeel like a hog
i will hotbox the world like the worlds filled up with fog
The streets were a furnace, the sun an executioner
bitch u dirty, go die, your a pollutioner
jrocks my oponent, he lost all his reputation
stealin verses aint cool its theft its not donation
i just served you all a earthquake, now you all are hatians

Similes I
Meta III
Punch I

After reading yours I found some lines of questioning and I might be over analyzing but I will say it anyways. You say the sun is the executioner and jrock dies because he pollutes, but before that line you say you'll hotbox the world and I'm pretty sure that's polluting also.


NEXT since I find it hard to give my opinion and have no more ideas, I'll compare side by side two bars of both people and either give it to jrock or cmm, then tally the points at the end. Not to hate but for the sake of this being easy I'm going to cut out some of cmm's lines that would be easy points to make it 16 bars to 16 bars.

I'ma start this off with a little reminder
Stay in your place, "graphics category" before i have to clean the plate
+1
Your the lame that stays neutral because you don't wanna "gas the race"
I put shells in your brain like a plastic case
+1
Battling me is bad news im psycho
If you want good news, i suggest you switch your car insurance to "geico"

My rhymes perform surgery on your lines because there sick
I keep a pair of scissors just in case your umbilical cord wants a split
+1
Your verse is gonna be irrelevant, past tense
You already know you lost cause when you compare me and you

Theres no comparison, i fucked the mic even when it was celibate
No one likes you on HQ, you tried to fit in only to get kicked by the end of the shoe

paranormal is my normal activity
your afraid of name-brand, you prefer home remedies

Today ain't your day kid. you don�t even know the mistake you making
You better believe this is real beef, this ain't no fake �Canadian� bacon

-----------------------

The noise is music to my mutha fuckin ears
you can call me crazy but not like im britney spears

Fire is day, when it goes out it's night
bitch this is a fact and everyone know that im right

girl i love u all the time your the sun in my sky
you just sometime gotta let me spark the spliff and get high
+1 Even though it's cliche this isn't a diss battle and this is okay.
im Rolling in dough you aint got flow
ill wreck all u bitches like this tournaments a show

what it do hq we all rapper eaters
i make everyone laugh u can call me russel peters

i will hotbox the world like the worlds filled up with fog
The streets were a furnace, the sun an executioner
bitch u dirty, go die, your a pollutioner
+1

jrocks my oponent, he lost all his reputation
stealin verses aint cool its theft its not donation
i just served you all a earthquake, now you all are hatians
+1

Even though it comes up a tie and I had to group some extra bars for cmm's to make sense since he did an odd number, the tie goes to jrock because there were bars that I cut from cmm's to do this bar-by-bar.. and those were lines like " i bark like a dog you squeal like a hog". You'll probably end up posting this in the thread...

Still wondering how did artille and dinonid judge the battle

[Artille]

Re: Official Written Tournament [Round 1 Results Posted]

I understand that some may think it is a bad call, but when I was going through I was looking for who had not only the most metaphors, but who had the best. I also went by who had the better flow and better overall lyrics. If you ask me Fredd had the best lyrics in the round, but had maybe 1 metaphor. CMM had a better flow than Jrock in my opinion and had a couple good metaphors. Jrock had better overall lyrics, but I was following the theme for most of these.

If you think it's a questionable call, prove me wrong in the LB and win this tournament.

[Fredd]

Re: Official Written Tournament [Round 1 Results Posted]

I understand that some may think it is a bad call, but when I was going through I was looking for who had not only the most metaphors, but who had the best. I also went by who had the better flow and better overall lyrics. If you ask me Fredd had the best lyrics in the round, but had maybe 1 metaphor. CMM had a better flow than Jrock in my opinion and had a couple good metaphors. Jrock had better overall lyrics, but I was following the theme for most of these.

If you think it's a questionable call, prove me wrong in the LB and win this tournament.

I think Artille has got a point. Judging my battle, he said that I had the best verse (thank you ) but he voted Dizzy. I understood why.

[JrockHQ]

Re: Official Written Tournament [Round 1 Results Posted]

I understand that some may think it is a bad call, but when I was going through I was looking for who had not only the most metaphors, but who had the best. I also went by who had the better flow and better overall lyrics. If you ask me Fredd had the best lyrics in the round, but had maybe 1 metaphor. CMM had a better flow than Jrock in my opinion and had a couple good metaphors. Jrock had better overall lyrics, but I was following the theme for most of these.

If you think it's a questionable call, prove me wrong in the LB and win this tournament.

Yep CMM had more metaphors, somewhat better flow (debatable) but i had more Similes, Punchlines and overall better lyrics. that outweighs the positives in CMM verse not to mention everyone who gave feedback on our battle believes i should of won

[Artille]

Re: Official Written Tournament [Round 1 Results Posted]

I understand that some may think it is a bad call, but when I was going through I was looking for who had not only the most metaphors, but who had the best. I also went by who had the better flow and better overall lyrics. If you ask me Fredd had the best lyrics in the round, but had maybe 1 metaphor. CMM had a better flow than Jrock in my opinion and had a couple good metaphors. Jrock had better overall lyrics, but I was following the theme for most of these.

If you think it's a questionable call, prove me wrong in the LB and win this tournament.

I think Artille has got a point. Judging my battle, he said that I had the best verse (thank you ) but he voted Dizzy. I understood why.

Exactly thats the point of the theme. It is to show diversity and to see who can fill all of the areas of written raps.

[IgnoranceIsBliss]

Re: Official Written Tournament [Round 1 Results Posted]

Thanks for the feedback on my verse Big shout out to Dizzy, I can clearly see good metaphors, and I kinda agree with Artille: a couple hours later, while I was on the HQ Chat, I realised I didnt have much metaphors hardly one lol

Big shout out to Bliss as well, his verse was very very on point

Thanks bro, that was just something I put together quickly while it was like midnight and I was tired as hell haha

[Artille]

Re: Official Written Tournament [Round 1 Results Posted]

Thanks bro, that was just something I put together quickly while it was like midnight and I was tired as hell haha

I loved your 4 lines about DPL near the end.... they were great.

"Read the first letter of my last 3 lines, that's your death" or whatever lol, just creative.

[YoungFire420]

Re: Official Written Tournament [Round 1 Results Posted]

Yo i do agree Jrock shouldve won, BUT it is what it is. They picked CMM as the winner. You still gotta chance to win, Jrock. There is a losers bracket. But bashing the judges and trying to prove you won isnt going to make anything bettter, .

[IgnoranceIsBliss]

Re: Official Written Tournament [Round 1 Results Posted]

Thanks bro, that was just something I put together quickly while it was like midnight and I was tired as hell haha

I loved your 4 lines about DPL near the end.... they were great.

"Read the first letter of my last 3 lines, that's your death" or whatever lol, just creative.

Thanks

I wanna do the next round now LOL

[Fredd]

Re: Official Written Tournament [Round 1 Results Posted]

Thanks bro, that was just something I put together quickly while it was like midnight and I was tired as hell haha

I loved your 4 lines about DPL near the end.... they were great.

"Read the first letter of my last 3 lines, that's your death" or whatever lol, just creative.

I remember writing a verse and the first letters of each phrase made "I Love You Shawty AC" (AC= her initials)

[Artille]

Re: Official Written Tournament [Round 1 Results Posted]

Thanks bro, that was just something I put together quickly while it was like midnight and I was tired as hell haha

I loved your 4 lines about DPL near the end.... they were great.

"Read the first letter of my last 3 lines, that's your death" or whatever lol, just creative.

Thanks

I wanna do the next round now LOL

Tomorrow at 3 PM EST the details will be posted. I believe that is 8 PM your time, not sure.

@Skim - It makes no difference. Things won't change because he thinks he should've one. He could sit here and call me a faggot and a pussy and it won't make a difference in next round judging. But that will be a good match, Mr. FTP vs Jrock.

[Enigma]

Re: Official Written Tournament [Round 1 Results Posted]

Not sure if you've decided on the theme for tomorrow, but if you can think of one that's not so vague it might cause things to be interesting. And if you can't think of one that's specific don't do one that's not good for the heck of it, and even though you said this as an example, "sports" would be a rather depressing topic.